Well friends, it’s finally time for another season of Guilt, and this time, we’re kicking things off in Chicago, where Max and Jake (previously dubbed Cheekbones and Softie, respectively, in these recaps) have formed a sort of peaceable, if impoverished, detente. They (not very successfully) run the bar Jake bought with his payoff from Evil Mobster Roy after season 1, and Jake’s relationship with the ethically dubious Angie is on the rocks. Despite this semi-disaster, Max can’t — or won’t — go back to Edinburgh: Evil Mobster Roy’s WAY scarier half, Maggie, is still out and about and ready to murder his ass.
Max: Anyway, don’t worry: I found us one last doofus lender who will prop up this disaster a little longer.
Jake: Suspicious. If the end is coming, you have a plan, and since you haven’t told me said plan, it’s probably tied to my downfall.
Max: That’s very rude since I live above this seedy bar and have been working hard all year to save it. If I had a better plan, I’d have done it!
I don’t believe him, and neither, thankfully, does Jake, who takes a second when his brother is distracted to try and figure out the code into the bar safe. After a few false starts, he’s successful, and finds inside a record and some legal documents, which he immediately takes to Angie. To sum up: Max has raised a heap of money on credit using the bar as collateral, and put all that cash into an account in Jake’s name. If he gets caught, Jake takes the fall. If he doesn’t, Max runs off with the cash and Jake loses the bar. A classic Max move!
Angie: I mean, I’ll say this for him: he’s really good at ruining your life.
Jake: Is he? The account’s in my name! Let’s take the money and run, baby!
Their next move is telling Max what they know. Ol’ perfect cheekbones is not best pleased, and he’s (probably, given his track record?) ready with a lie about how that money was an investment opportunity he was going to reveal once it was too late for Jake to ruin it.
Jake: No worries, we’ve got a good plan for it!
Angie: Jake, if you got that money, he’d figure out a way to take it from you. You’ve had literally your whole life to free yourself from your brother, why would now be different? Someone should win though, and that person is me. Good luck babe!
RUDE. But also so flawlessly shady that I can’t even fault her for it! She’s been like this the whole time, and TBH that’s on Jake for never noticing.
Angie skips out the back as a whole mess of police cars pull up out front.
Jake: WTF?
Max: We’re going home.
Speaking of Scotland, the unrelated-to-our-boys (at least for now) criminal situation for this season appears to be a group of 4 youths chasing a young woman after she sneaks up on them wearing a mascot mask and tries to shoot them. This seems kinda justified, but then they roll up to her house and throw her stepdad over a balcony to his death (pure hubris on his part: she told him these guys were dangerous and he ignored her).
Separately, Kenny aka Remy previously aka Remington Steele Reserve is still happily with Yvonne, the police detective he met in AA last season, and they’re even trying for a baby (unsuccessfully so far). And yes, if you thought Yvonne looked different, she WAS recast between seasons; you’re not going mad!
You know who else is back? Remember Max’s terrifying giant prison “friend” from last season, Teddy? His new job is working in an enormous weed growing operation and being extremely menacing to his coworker who I’ll be calling scarface, for reasons I don’t think I really need to explain.
Teddy: Look bud, we’re growing the purest organic weed in Scotland, with the goal that when it becomes legal we can get out there first on the market. And YOU were about to light up a cigarette in here? I’m trying not to be violent, honest to god, but you’re making it really hard right now!
It seems as though violence might indeed be about to win, but before Teddy can do more than gesture creepily with his knife, one of his associates comes to fetch him, because there’s a cop at the gate.
The Cop: We haven’t met before, but here’s the deal: we’re getting calls about the number of cars coming and going from your farm at night. People come out here for the quiet, you get it, right?
Teddy: They should meditate.
The Cop: Can I look around real quick?
Teddy, reaching into his back pocket for that knife: Got a warrant?
The Cop: Could get one! But I don’t think we need to do that, do we?
Teddy: You get that warrant and I’ll show you around myself.
LMAO, “show you around” is, I presume, the new code for “stab you and turn your body into plant fertilizer,” but I suppose that remains to be seen. Meanwhile, a politician-type gives a speech about how great the community in this town is, which is hilarious given everything we’ve seen so far. He’s from around here, you see, and knows how much everyone looks after each other! It’s thanks to this community that he’s now fancy enough to buy everyone a new community center! Hilariously, he also apologizes for youthful crimes to the cop present in the audience — and that cop is our crooked friend Stevie from seasons past, who’s been nicely demoted to Sergeant. Heading outside, Demoted is hailed by the flashing lights of an SUV. Is he still up to his dodgy ways? Maybe: the person in the car is Maggie, who’s still playing up her oh-so-innocent routine, now with the added sad-sack clause of widow.
Maggie: Look, I need you to call up this cop and tell him that the address he visited this morning is actively being investigated and he needs to back off.
Demoted: Why would I do that?
Maggie: Because you’re a gambling addict, remember? You’re not good at covering your tracks, and I’ve got a tip about a pony that’s about to win big. You just have to make this little call, and I’ll tell you the horse’s name.
Across town, at the tower block where hubristic stepdad was murdered, Yvonne has turned up to do her detective thing and investigate. It turns out that the victim had a history of petty crime, and was found with super pure organic weed in his pocket. Gee, wonder where that came from? Yvonne heads upstairs to talk to the family for more info.
At the airport, Jake and Max have landed back in Edinburgh. Jake, despite the fact that Angie stole his cash and had him deported, wonders if he still has a chance. Max laughs at that, because honestly what the hell else would you do?
Max: Look dude, we have bigger fish to fry. We need to get out of town before Maggie realizes we’re here. Let’s grab a taxi.
Jake: Let’s get a TRAM. It’s cheaper. You need to learn that your old life is gone.
Max: And you need to learn not to assume failure is the only option.
They’re both right, tbh! But Jake’s practicality and Max’s smooth operator vibes don’t even clear their first hurdle: the immigration officer who checks them in and immediately notices that 1) they just got deported from the US and 2) Max has just a bunch of parole violations. They get taken into custody immediately — but at least they get a phone call each! No surprises here: Max calls Kenny, who immediately hangs up on him. Undeterred, Max makes Jake call Kenny next. This time, rather than hang up, Kenny punishes Max by diving into a long screed regarding the quality of his sperm. Given everything Max has done to him over the years, this seems like justice, not gonna lie, but *I* do not want to hear about it! Anyway, Kenny’s take is that he needs to relax if he’s going to make a baby, and these clowns are the opposite of relaxing. So, message delivered, he once again hangs up. An unbothered king!
Meanwhile, Demoted calls up Yvonne and asks her to meet him in a creepy parking garage. They snipe at each other, and then he tells her he has information. Information he’ll give her if she puts in a good word at his disciplinary hearing.
Yvonne: LOL, no. You just give me the info, because that’s the rules. Doofus.
Demoted: Look, this is big. Big enough to get you promoted. I just want to have my job back!
Yvonne: No promises. But I will give you a chance to be a cop.
Back at the airport, Jake and Max are left in a holding area to worry about what happens next. Max wants some time to think, but Jake? Jake would rather talk about his brother’s safe code from the start of the episode. Why did Max pick 1981, specifically? It wasn’t a good year for football, for instance. But it WAS the year that their father skipped town.
Before we can dig into that Freudian can of worms, the passport control lad who pulled them aside earlier comes back to tell them that Max was right. He doesn’t actually have jurisdiction, and will escort them to the exit.
Me, has a sneaking suspicion that this goober might just work for Maggie:
Max, too busy gloating about being “right” to hear me: I told you so! Take us to the exit!
Meanwhile, across town, Kenny meets up with his niece Skye, who just happens to be the kid with the Icarus-like stepdad from earlier.
Kenny: Your mom said you ran into some trouble.
Skye: Understatement of the year, and also, don’t think I forgot that you’re dating a cop.
Kenny: We don’t talk about work; too complicated.
Skye: Ok well in that case, I’ve been selling weed.
Kenny: WHAT THE HELL? WHY?
Skye: The same reason anyone does? Needed to make some money to pay for school! And it gave me a way to get in with everyone. You heard about the guy who died right? That was your sister’s new boyfriend.
Kenny: Yikes. She didn’t tell me THAT.
Skye: He got me the weed, I sold it, and he passed the money back. Except he didn’t actually give it back. And then when they came after us, he decided we could scare them off. Obviously that didn’t work.
Kenny: How much do you owe?
Skye: 20k.
Kenny: I am so sorry, but I don’t have that kind of money.
Skye: Doesn’t matter, I wouldn’t take it even if you did — I want to fix this myself.
Kenny: So who are you in debt to?
Skye: Look dude, there are a lot of jerks out there, but you aren’t one of them. I don’t want you to get mixed up in this and lose everything.
Kenny: I’ll be fine, just tell me!
LOL, Kenny, you’ve badly misjudged this situation. Much like Max and Jake, who’ve just been released from the back door of the airport into the waiting bosom of a bunch of goons. Hustled into a panel van, the brothers have plenty of time to speculate about what will happen to them, and for Jake to be annoyed again that his brother has gotten them into a scrape. Like any sibling fight, this one is both very dumb AND a doozy; they even get into the hit and run that started this whole mess off two seasons ago!
Across town, Kenny and Skye stakeout the boys who chased her earlier while they stick a huge duffle bag in the back of a fancy car. Kenny tells his niece that he’ll go track down where that bag is going, and that she’s going back to school: she’s the best chance for someone in the family turning out ok, so she’s got to. Guys, I really like both of them! Hopefully this all works out, but I am worried, ok?
In an abandoned warehouse, Maggie sits down with the boys for a fun “chat.” She’s playing it cool, which makes the whole thing WAY scarier IMO. Max tries to smooth talk his way out of everything, but his ability to talk at all, let alone smoothly, is rapidly cut off when Roy joins the chat. You know, Roy, the menacing creepo mobster who we all thought got killed by Max’s scary cellmate Teddy at the end of last season? Turns out that Roy knew Teddy’s dad, and that was enough to smooth over the thing where Roy’s family killed Teddy’s brother.
Max tries to convince Roy to let them go, but Roy isn’t feeling it, and TBH I kinda get why: Max tried to have him killed, stole all of their cash, and ruined Roy’s relationship with his daughter. Penalty: death. At least it’ll be quick? Roy explains that a goon will kill the brothers with a gun used to stun cows, but before they can get to stunnin’, the cops pull up outside. Teddy is deputized to remove Maggie from the property while Roy distracts the cops. The leave behind one goon to kill the brothers.
Maggie: Roy. Do whatever’s needed.
Ominous AND mysterious! Anyway, everyone swings into action, including Max, who starts trying to sweet talk the goon, while his brother far more successfully saves their butts by spraying some kind of chemicals into the goon’s eyes. Jake, hilariously, instantly feels guilty and tries to administer first aid until Max drags him away (classic). And that’s how they find themselves trying to sneak out the back of a massive weed growing operation in the middle of a massive raid. This culminates in the brothers crawling through a muddy pig pen while Roy gets cornered by multiple police vans. This is where we find out what “do whatever’s needed” means: it means do not get arrested. Roy says he won’t go in, and then reaches into his coat, which is enough for Demoted to yell “gun!” Across the property, Maggie and Teddy hear the shot, but there isn’t time to do much more than pause for a second before they leave. Back at Roy’s body, Demoted reminds Yvonne that this could be a big deal for her career (duh) and she tells him she won’t forget him, whilst getting someone she actually trusts to bag Roy’s phone for processing.
Meanwhile, Kenny’s done some evidence-gathering of his own: he’s purchased some of that fancy weed from the thugs who were chasing Skye, and examines it in his office. Skye, back on campus, runs into the ringleader of the goons, who tells her that even though her proto-stepdad stole the money, the debt is now hers to repay… and his. Reader, I also feel I should tell you that something about their interactions makes me think this relationship goes deeper than goon/dealer.
Across town, the rich politician type we saw opening his community center earlier seems troubled, which is definitely not anything to do with his surroundings, which are extremely sumptuous.
Rich Politician Type, on the phone: It’s over. Let’s do the deal. Fast.
What deal? With whom? Haven’t the foggiest. Maybe we’ll find out next time. In the meantime, Max and Jake are once again on the road, having stolen a delivery van. Max offers Jake an out, but he doesn’t take it. Opting to stay together, they go to the only place the two of them can get to with half a tank of gas and no money: back to Edinburgh, presumably. Will Skye be able to repay her debt? Will Max and Jake get away from Maggie’s crime network? Will Kenny and Yvonne be able to have that baby? We’ll just have to wait for next week to find out.
