Last week, in the season premiere, we met New Cassie. Jury’s still out on her, IMHO, but what is clear is that her cheating spouse Dirtbag Husband is the actual worst. We also got a new case, which New Cassie tried to prematurely close until DS Beanpole saved the day by dating the body to the 2010s, rather than the 1950s. Who’s our victim?
Obviously answering that very question is first on the agenda for our squad, so they all gather in New Cassie’s office for an update.
DS Beanpole: I filed some paperwork with the bank, but here’s what we have already: the card belonged to a woman who’s still alive; she reported it stolen in 2016. I need to either talk about that with her or find the report.
New Cassie: Both, ideally, please.
Sunny: And the dress was bought right around that time, right? So the thief probably stole the bag and bought the dress before the card got canceled.
New Cassie: Great, well, speak to this lady soon because I have a feeling our victim might also be the thief. DC Babyface?
DC Babyface: Present.
New Cassie: Can you follow up with the developer who owned this joint before the current guy?
DC Babyface: Already did. He doesn’t live in the UK — was in Italy for a year and a half during covid, so I don’t know if he’ll have any more details to share.
New Cassie: Let’s talk to the family that made that probate sale then. I basically just want to know if anyone was allowed to be on the property before now. And maybe also talk to the neighbors, see if they saw anything weird. DS Grumpy, I want you to see if there’s any police activity tied to the property in the last few years.
Sunny: Sorry, one more thing.
New Cassie, annoyed to be interrupted, and correctly realizes this is a bit of a powerplay: Yes?
Sunny: Why did she get put in the flue? She was little, sure, but it wouldn’t have been THAT easy to get her up there. Why do it?
DC Babyface: Maybe she died in the room?
Sunny: Or somewhere in the house, and hiding the body there was easier than bringing her outside and maybe getting caught.
DC Babyface: And maybe it was easier than pulling up the floorboards or digging a hole in the yard?
New Cassie: Good thinking. Now are we done?
Sunny, sad: Yup.
Look, my guess is that New Cassie mostly just wants some privacy so she can soft launch her divorce on instagram or something, but this dismissal and unwillingness to spitball about theories is really bumming out her entire team. Sunny, who’s determined to prove himself better than New Cassie, calls up the plaster testing lab and asks them to look at a few more samples. Seems like this would be fine, but he’s definitely trying to hide it from New Cassie, which just makes me nervous about the unnecessary fight they’re going to get into when she finds out.
Meanwhile, in a fancy bar, Posh Guy is happily discussing economic theory with a younger fellow, and while normally when people talk economics I just hear the teacher’s trombone voice from the Peanuts, I’m surprisingly impressed with Posh Guy’s take, which is that trickle down economics and other schemes like it didn’t work and need rethinking.
Posh Guy’s Posh Pal: Well to be fair, the stuffy guy you’re criticizing mostly references YOUR early work.
Posh Guy: Yeah, but I was wrong. People can change! Anyway, must be off. Oh, and just randomly while I’m leaving — yesterday my office sent over a tiny application for a community center thing. It’s chump change — only 100k — but if you have time to give that a little special attention I’d be so grateful.
Posh Guy’s Posh Pal: Of course!
Walking away, Posh Guy gets a call from his doctor, who doesn’t beat around the bush even a little bit: Posh Guy better come in to the office right away.
Over at New Cassie’s house, she tucks one of her kiddos into bed. Said kiddo is maybe a little better at reading the room than his mom has been so far, and he asks why she and his dad were shouting at each other the other day. He tells her he didn’t hear any details (let’s hope not!) but that they sounded really angry. Not about to unload the truth on this 12 year old, New Cassie tells him everything is ok, and that she’ll get Dirtbag Husband to call home in the morning. After saying goodnight, she heads into the hall and fires off the latest in a series of unanswered texts (yikes) which basically says “you have kids, you jerk, call them at least.”
Meanwhile, at the morgue, Pathologist and a colleague have started the difficult task of trying to unsquish (technical term) the victim’s body so that they can examine her properly. In the process she definitely finds something of note, but I’m not a doctor so I couldn’t tell you what it was. Don’t worry, we find out quick: a little later, when Sunny walks into the very empty office, he gets a call from Pathologist: she found a gunshot wound. It’d been obscured by the damage from the vermin, but once she could look inside the victim, it was very clear that she died from a gunshot wound through the chest.
Sunny: So if she was shot in the house, there would be blood, right?Pathologist: Oh yeah, a LOT of blood.
Sunny: And, unless the killer took it, there’s also gonna be a bullet. And bullets are traceable!
Over in Paris, we get an absolutely adorably domestic scene with Jack of All Trades, who it turns out is living with a woman who has two small children. While he’s helping them get ready for school, their dad arrives and asks to speak with their mother. The kids head outside, leaving three very unhappy adults to hash this out. Broad strokes? Jill of All Trades’ ex has brought over some new divorce paperwork.
Jill of All Trades: Uh, what the heck? We had a plan; I was just about to sign.
Second Dirtbag Soon To Be Ex Husband: Yeah, well, I changed my mind. Now I want joint custody. Toodles!
Look, reader, I don’t want to just judge this man solely by his cool leather jacket, but his vibe is not good. Very much on team Jill of All Trades, whose obvious horror at this new development really makes me think Second Dirtbag Soon To Be Ex Husband really should not have any custody of those kiddos.
Speaking of dirtbags: as New Cassie’s about to get into her car to head to work, guess who finally turns up at her house? He’s going for nonchalance, by the way, which makes me dislike him even more.
Dirtbag Husband: Oh, you’re still here?
New Cassie: Yeah, I slept badly because you didn’t call me or your children!
Dirtbag Husband, not sorry at all: Sorry.
New Cassie: So you thought you’d just sneak back after I left for the office, huh? Get inside, it’s time for you to face the music.
Look, I’m going to save you more time with this horrible man, reader. His reason for cheating basically boils down to the fact that New Cassie has a demanding job, something he knew about when they got together (and something they clearly share, but this jerk has different standards for his wife than for himself, unsurprisingly).
New Cassie: And what, you didn’t want to talk about that at all?
Dirtbag Husband: I probably should have tried harder, but it always feels like you’re only interested in winning when we talk about this kind of thing. And you always win because you’re smarter than me.
New Cassie: Ok, so you cheating is my fault because I’m too SMART?
Dirtbag Husband, again, refuses to tell New Cassie who he’s cheating with (he says he doesn’t think it matters, which makes me think it really probably does) before telling her he thinks they need some time apart. He tells her he doesn’t care which of them move out (hilarious, she’s obviously not leaving the house) and then packs some stuff and heads to his brother’s place. Fun! As he leaves, New Cassie realizes she has quite a few missed calls from Sunny, and runs off to work.
While her marriage is imploding, her coworkers bang on with their tasks. DS Grumpy’s unable to access one of the databases he needs for his assignment (not great) and DC Babyface starts chatting with the owner of one of the houses adjacent to the crime scene.
Neighbor: Honestly, I think if they’d been a bit more subtle I’m not sure anyone would have caught them, but yeah, there were some squatters there. Probably like 4-5 of them; nice people, clearly mostly harmless. They told me they were planning to move on in a few days so I didn’t worry.
DC Babyface: And when was this?
Neighbor: Oh, like early summer 2016 — right after we moved in.
And right around when the murder happened! Neighbor goes on to explain that she mentioned the squatters to the neighbor on the other side, who knew a relative of the owner. Other Neighbor made a call, and the next day a locksmith arrived to secure the site. Apparently, the owner’s relative got rid of the squatters, but that’ll be hard to verify, since Other Neighbor has since died, and this one doesn’t remember the relative’s name.
Meanwhile, our young Mugger’s girlfriend asks him to go out and get them more drugs. He tries to tell her they can’t keep going on like this, but realizes halfway through that she isn’t ready to stop using, so heads out to steal first a purse and then a cellphone right out of someone’s hands. In Paris, Jack of All Trades and Jill of All Trades talk about her divorce. Her take is that her ex doesn’t even really want custody, he’s just mad that she’s moving on. And since the kids want to live with her, they agree to fight for full custody. The problem? Lawyers are expensive, and they’re also trying to save up money to move into a bigger place so they can have a baby together. Complicated, to say the least!
Back at the station, Sunny goes over his plan to look for the crime scene with New Cassie. He proposes they start ripping up the floor in the sitting room and work out from there, which she agrees to (but in a distracted way that he’s for sure going to read as snotty).
Sunny: Also: Pathologist was able to rehydrate some of the skin and found track marks. Given the victim’s build and missing teeth, we think she may have been using.
New Cassie: And this is a drug deal gone wrong?
Sunny: Maybe? Regardless, if we find the bullet we’ll be a lot closer to finding out.
As you might expect, New Cassie is in a pretty wretched mood, and doesn’t hide this well from Sunny, further straining their already bad relationship. After he heads into the bullpen to work, she heads to their boss DS Andrews’ office, but ultimately doesn’t knock on the door.
At the crime scene, techs begin the hard work of taking apart the room to search for blood or the bullet. While that’s happening, DC Babyface follows up with a lawyer about what was happening with the house ownership in 2016. As you may remember, there was a probate situation: the owner, Hazel, died in 2015, but the house didn’t sell until 2019 because she died without a will. The family only found a letter where Hazel said she wanted the money from the house to go to her sister’s kids, but given that the house sold for a lot of money, her brother’s kids contested the letter, which tied up the case in courts for years. This lawyer vaguely remembers the thing with the squatters, but it wasn’t his case so he’s not 100% on the details. Questions answered, DC Babyface gets copies of all the files, and heads back to the office. Speaking of the office, that’s where DS Beanpole is, following up with the mugging victim whose card was used to purchase the vintage dress they found.
DS Beanpole: I’m calling because I can’t seem to find a file?
Mugging Victim: Yeah, well, nobody ever followed up so I’m guessing that’s why. Super annoying because the owner of the shop sent me a link to his CCTV system, which featured a very clear image of the mugger’s face. I told you guys this when I reported it!
DS Beanpole: I’m really sorry, again. Was the mugger male, or female? And do you still have the footage?
Mugging Victim: Female. And I’d have to check.
Here’s hoping! In the canteen, DS Beanpole tells Sunny what she’s just discovered, and they both cross their fingers that Mugging Victim will be able to find that email when she gets home that evening.
Sunny, slightly shady: And uh… just keep everything going through me for now ok?
A little weird, TBH, but understandable, and so DS Beanpole agrees. Elsewhere, Posh Guy arrives home, doubling over in pain before he heads inside to look for his wife. Searching through the house, he opens a door to reveal a large group of friends and family have gathered for a surprise birthday party in his honor, which is very sweet, except that none of them know, as we do, that he’s dealing with a health crisis. Posh Guy schools his features into a smile and goes along with it. What else is he gonna do? At the party, we see another interaction that suggests Posh Guy has really changed, and somewhat recently (the last five years, which I’m sure has nothing to do with the case, and is just a coincidence, reader). A party guest tells him that he’s impressed with the good works Posh Guy’s been focusing on lately, and is proud to call him a friend despite his conservative political affiliation. Next, Posh Guy and his wife have an adorable interaction about the party, which is cut short when their grandson arrives for a hug, and receives an unexpected summons for a scary chat.
Also having a stressful chat? Sunny and Sal, who has just revealed that she’s pregnant.
Sunny: So… did you forget your pill or something?
Sal: LOL, no. I think probably it was that time I got the flu and vomited.
Sunny: Ah, makes sense. And how do you feel about it?
Sal: Well… shocked? A little stupid for letting it happen.
Sunny: Don’t be silly, that’s not your fault.
Sal: And I’m honestly a little surprised that my first instinct isn’t to have an abortion.
Sunny: Ok!
Sal: Are you totally freaked out by that?
Sunny: No! I mean, yeah, a little. I’m sorry if that’s not what you wanted to hear. But honesty is probably important right now right?
Sal: Yes, for sure.
Sunny: I need some time to digest this. I think we both do?
Sal: Totally.
Do I love a responsible honest conversation about whether these two are really interested in having a kid? Yes! But the fact that this makes Sal cry?
Over at New Cassie’s house, she’s continuing to have a terrible time. While her kids loudly get ready for bed, she tells her mum that she doesn’t like to feel needy.
New Cassie’s Mum: Hm. But sometimes people like to feel needED, you know what I’m saying?
New Cassie: Did he talk to you about me? Ugh, he did!
New Cassie’s Mum: That’s not the point, and he didn’t. What I’m saying is you’ve always been able to handle everything on your own, and that’s hard for people. Including me, and your dad, and DEFINITELY your sister. It might be hard for him too.
I mean, sure, but he’s still cheating scum. Speaking of scummy behavior, over at Posh Guy’s house, his grandson is getting the promised lecture.
Posh Guy: As gross as this may be for you to hear, I know what being 16 feels like. You think I’m about to be like “boys will be boys, it’s cool” but it’s not. Taking advantage of a woman’s inability to say no isn’t funny, and it’s not ok. The fact that you don’t get that is so disgusting I’m not sure where to start, but how about this: I’m still a very powerful guy. I can still talk to your headmaster, and get your suspension revoked. But if I hear even a whisper of this kind of thing again, I will make sure that your life isn’t as ridiculously easy as it otherwise would have been. Get it?
Rapist Grandson: Yes.
Posh Guy: Good. Get out of here.
Look, did Posh Guy say many correct things there? Yes. But since his rapist grandson isn’t actually getting punished for what happened, I don’t care: he’s still using his power to protect someone from the consequences he deserves, which is obviously not ok!
Anyway, back at the station, New Cassie is once again trying to call her sister to give her the “Dirtbag Husband cheated on me” update, and is once again met with an answering machine. I hate to even put it out there, but I’m starting to wonder if a certain sister might also be the other half of this affair. Hanging up, New Cassie walks into the bullpen just in time to hear DS Beanpole tell Sunny that the mugging victim found the link.
New Cassie: Sorry, what?
Sunny: We think we found the thief.
Reader, I don’t think New Cassie bought the “oh, new evidence we haven’t been withholding from you!” undertones there, but she ignores that for now, bringing the two into her office to review the footage. Based on the height and the hair of the mugger, it’s looking more likely that they found their murder victim.
Sunny: Well, we know how she’s paying for the drugs, and it’s possible she worked this area for a couple of days. Let’s see if we can pull up any nearby street and shop thefts from the time around the murder.
New Cassie: Go for it. And Sunny? Important info like this should really come to me first.
Sunny: When you’re actually in the office, I’ll make sure they bring you stuff first.
Damn, Sunny! Bold move, dude. New Cassie lets it slide, for now, but somehow I feel like this is heading for a pretty rough showdown eventually. In the meantime, their hunch is correct: the same week of the mugging, a woman was caught and arrested for an attempted theft, and she even gave the house where her body was found as her home address. Our victim’s officially got a name: Precious Falade. She would have been 34 at the time of her death, and had a long history of arrests for drugs, sex work, and theft. She has no next of kin on file, but spoiler alert, reader: I’m pretty sure she’s the daughter of our restauranteurs. DC Babyface and DS Grumpy also share what they’ve found (the lawyer’s files, and nothing, respectively), and then they all wait for a response from New Cassie. She’s weirdly not forthcoming, so Sunny steps in and hands out assignments: DC Babyface can look at Precious’ documentation, and DS Grumpy and DS Beanpole can look into her known associates. New Cassie nods her head and wanders off, leaving DS Beanpole to wonder out loud why their new boss even shows up to the office in the first place.
While they stress about the case, our restauranteurs have reunited on their houseboat. Well, briefly: Chef is just there to pack a bag.
Chef: Look, I know there’s a lot going on right now but it's getting worse.
Manager: I know, and I’m sorry. I’m trying, I swear.
Chef: Did you drink?
Manager: No. I promise.
Chef: I can do one last chance. But our life has to be OURS, not just yours. It can’t be all about your history and your problems; I’m someone too.
Manager: Yes.
Chef: Ok, well. I’m going to work, I’ll see you there.
Manager: I love you.
Chef, almost doesn’t say it: I love you too.
I don’t even know what to say about this plotline; just rough stuff all around.
Back at the station, everyone’s doing their best to find Precious’ next of kin, calling hospitals, former landlords, and mostly coming up empty. Empty, that is, until DS Beanpole connects with someone in social services who is able to confirm that Precious has both a son and a mother, but had become estranged from both when he last spoke to her in 2014. He is able to provide an address for her mum, but isn’t sure if it’s current.
Meanwhile, across the city, our Mugger’s sleep is interrupted by the police, who, upon entering his home, arrest him for grievous bodily harm and theft before searching his flat. Also worth noting? One of the cops addresses our guy by name in a way that makes me think they have a relationship that goes beyond cop + frequently arrested.
At the restaurant, Manager has just gotten a call from the investors — the good kind of call. She promises to ring them back to go over next steps, and then breaks the news to her partner. They still want to invest the full amount! They’re both quite emotional about this, and a bit upset. Manager has just said “I promise I can change” when two people who are going to make that promise very hard to keep roll up to the restaurant: Sunny and New Cassie. While Sunny walks straight inside to unintentionally make things harder for this couple, New Cassie hangs back: she’s got a text from Dirtbag Husband (who she still hasn’t renamed in her contacts, alarmingly) which asks her to call asap. Obviously, given where she is, she ignores the text and heads inside, where she breaks the news to Manager that they’ve found her daughter’s body. Manager, naturally, completely loses it, and while she breaks down, Chef restrains her so she can’t hurt herself and yells at New Cassie and Sunny to hit the bricks.
Across town, Posh Guy meets with his doctor and asks the big question: what’s his prognosis? The news isn’t good: his best case scenario is about a year. It’s not a lot of time, but Posh Guy is going out swinging. He tells his doc to look into any and every option, and basically plans to throw the full weight of his considerable money and power at the problem.
Back at the station, DC Babyface is telling the lawyer from earlier that she found handwritten notes in the files, all referencing the squatters and making the building secure. There’s also a note regarding the locksmith. However, the notes are all signed LA, and that doesn’t match the initials of anyone in the family.
Lawyer: It’s not ringing any bells for me either.
DC Babyface: Hm. I know you said you inherited the case, could I talk to the person you got it from?
Lawyer: Unfortunately no; my colleague died of covid.
DC Babyface: Ah. I’m sorry about that. Plan b: there’s a reference to a call at a specific day and time; would you be ok with us looking through your firm’s phone records?
Honestly, his face says no, but I’m hoping he actually says yes! And speaking of phone calls, outside the restaurant, New Cassie uses the down time while Manager gathers herself inside to try and call Dirtbag Husband. However, despite the “call asap” text, he now isn’t answering his phone. Great!
Sunny: Hey, we should go back inside.
New Cassie: Has she calmed down?
Sunny: I don’t care! It’s a murder investigation, we shouldn’t have left in the first place!
New Cassie: Well that’s my call, so. I’ll do the talking.
They head inside, where Chef reluctantly lets them talk with Manager.
Manager: Was it an overdose?
New Cassie: It wasn’t, no. I’m sorry to have to tell you, we think she was murdered. She was shot.
Manager: Who would want to do that to her?
New Cassie: That’s what we’re trying to find out. Can you tell me when you last saw her?
Manager: I’ve seen her maybe 2-3 times in the last 15 years. Most recently might have been 2014, 2015.
New Cassie: Did you have a falling out, or?
Manager: I didn’t like her stealing from me to buy drugs, I didn’t like the emotional abuse, and I didn’t like her blaming me for everything that was wrong in her life.
Sunny: Last time you saw her did she mention any conflicts? Anyone who might be holding a grudge?
Manager: No. I don’t remember.
Sunny: And she had a son - Joseph? How old would he be now, 24? She had him young.
Manager: Yes.
Sunny: Do you have any contact with him? Any idea where he lives?Manager: No.
Sunny: Your own grandson?
Manager: That was her decision.
New Cassie: Ok, well, thanks for now.
Sunny: Actually, one last thing. I’d like to show you a photo of the house that we found her in. Does that ring any bells?
As always on this show, Manager says she doesn’t recognize the house, but her flashback tells us otherwise. Sunny pushes, but she remains adamant. New Cassie takes their cue to leave, and as they head out, Manager asks if she can see her daughter. They warn her that the remains are not in good shape, but give her New Cassie’s card anyway so she can arrange a visit if Manager wants. Outside, New Cassie tells Sunny to give her a heads up next time he’s going to do something like the photo.
Sunny: It was instinct!
New Cassie: You might have waited until she was more calm!
Sunny: It told us what we needed.
New Cassie: Such as?
Sunny: She was lying.
New Cassie: Didn’t seem like she was to me.
Sunny: There was something weird about her initial reaction too.
New Cassie: Seemed normal to me.
Sunny's face:
New Cassie, as Sunny walks away, calls him a not very nice name. I hate to say it, but in the parlance of Reddit’s Am I The Asshole community, ESH: everyone sucks here (but I’m still team Sunny all the way). Will these two ever get along? Will Dirtbag Husband cave and name his partner in crime? And how is everyone tied to Precious’ murder? We’ll just have to come back next week to find out!
