Every season, the Drama After Dark team gathers ‘round the (currently virtual) conference room table to watch the latest and greatest in British dramas. This month we’re covering MASTERPIECE’s remake of the classic series All Creatures Great and Small. The series does not disappoint, with eccentric characters, adorable animals, and the vast, rolling hills of Yorkshire. I’m stepping in to recap the season as it happens, while Jackie Bruleigh will be your guide in recapping Miss Scarlet and the Duke (and don't miss us both covering the latter on this season of Drama After Dark!).
The day dawns over the splendor that is Yorkshire, and James is driving along happily with his best girl: Jess, the Golden Retriever. Stopping to take a brief, brisk (nekkid) dunk in a watering hole, he’s caught by the girl he WISHES would be his best girl, Helen. Naturally, our poor boy is mortified — we all know that cold water isn’t a friend to anyone’s… assets.
Back at the ranch, Horrible Boss is grumpy that the store room is a G-D mess. Mrs. Ma’am chides him for choosing not to have an organizing system, and naturally Horrible Boss turns this around and scolds Sweet Baby James for not doing a better job keeping the store room. But it seems some changes have happened from our last episode; James takes his scolding in stride, admitting to being at fault… even if he’s not quite sure what it is he did.
It’s not long before we find out that, surprise to no one, Sweet Baby James did nothing at all: the latest bugaboo making HB grumpy is that his baby brother, Tristan, is returning from university. What IS surprising is that Horrible Boss gives James the keys to his F-A-I-N-C-Y car to pick up the baby brother. But it’s a quick turnabout once an excited James scampers out of the house and Mrs. Ma’am turns her gimlet eye on HB. Is his kindly turn, perhaps, a chance to make the mysterious Tristan jealous of Sweet Baby James?
Hint: It Is.
But before he can deliver HB’s prodigal brother, Sweet Baby James must tend to a spot of work. A cow belonging to the Handshaws, who have to be the most ornery couple this side of the Thames, refuses to leave its spot in the barn. SBJ tends to the animal, suspecting milk fever. Naturally, the owners disagree, sniping at James for ignoring the old ways. Perhaps cutting off her tail will heal the problem?
Like us in the audience, James gives a disturbed chuckle, and instead chooses to treat her the non-homeopathic (and less violent) route, before noping the heck out of there.
We cut to what appears to be the luggage store of a slowly rocking train. Atop the pile of cases and sacks, a young man lays sprawled, fully asleep. Wait, could it be? Is that… Lesley Durrels (also known as Callum Woodhouse)? In a full tuxedo?? It IS. Could this be the highly anticipated Tristan?!
As Sweet Baby James’ creeps on every respectable-looking man in the station — "are you Horrible Boss’ brother?" — we watch Tristan/Lesley sneakily exit the train. But it seems that he’s not quite sneaky enough, as an irate porter begins to make chase. And while SBJ barely slows him down, Tristan/Lesley’s reaction to the car is just as Mrs. Ma’am predicted: aghast, insulted, and prone to grand theft auto. Sweet Baby James doesn’t stand a chance once Lesley/Tristan gets that idea into his head, and it’s not long before they're on the road with L/T behind the wheel, firing forward question after forward question at our poor SBJ.
Unsurprisingly, Lesley/Tristan isn’t the ~best~ driver, and their careening ride home winds up with them unexpectedly off the road — along with the back bumper off the car. While SBJ manfully restrains his hysterical weeping, L/T ties the bumper back on with twine, reassuring Sweet Baby James that Horrible Boss will never notice it.
We, at least, have our doubts.
But back at the clinic, Lesley/Tristan is surprisingly correct that Horrible Boss doesn’t notice the twined-on bumper, at least, for the time being. Perhaps that’s because HB is delighted/shocked at finding out his baby brother has, in fact, passed his final veterinary exam!
L/T is less delighted, but just as shocked to discover that Sweet Baby James has been staying in his bedroom, and that Mrs. Ma’am has set him up a cot. In the closet.
The next morning, James rolls out of bed a bit late, only to discover that Lesley/Tristan has fully organized the store room. As a special surprise for absolutely no one, Horrible Boss uses this an excuse to shame Sweet Baby James for his imagined laziness. And L/T only helps, chiding poor SBJ about his ‘sleeping in,’ and steals a sausage from his brekkie!
Now, where I come from, that’s enough to start a blood feud. But being the Sweet Baby that he is, James merely grumbles, before letting L/T accompany him on a call: back to the Handshaw’s. Surprisingly, it seems that their orneriness only extends to SBJ. They set up Lesley/Tristan with the last slice of cake and a seat on a hay bale — and invite him to begin grumping at James along with them.
He partakes.
Meanwhile, back at the practice, an absolute vixen named Dorothy (played by Maime McCoy, who you may remember from Van Der Valk) rolls up on Mrs. Ma’am. Her appearance grants us a window into the otherwise shadowy past of Horrible Boss’ housekeeper. It seems that Mrs. Ma’am was her superior in the WACs, but the two are now bosom buddies. Dorothy the Vixen has swung by in advance of her trip to Malta, for a quick visit, and to deliver the hot goss from Mrs. Ma’am’s hometown… and on her son!
As if all that tea on Mrs. Ma’am wasn’t enough to give us palpitations, we’re also confronted with the absolutely shocking sight of Horrible Boss blatantly hitting on her. Mrs. Ma’am is less than impressed with HB’s behavior, dragging D the V away to the pub. But it seems like we’re not safe yet… D the V plans to be in the area the next few weeks to catch up with ‘friends,’ and from the look she give HB, he might just be one of her new pals.
Back in the field, Lesley/Tristan and James head to their next appointment, which happens to be on one HELL of an estate. L/T informs James that it belongs to a mill heiress. And although the word 'heiress' typically conjures images of well-bred, patrician young ladies, this heiress is instead a booze-swilling, slightly dotty Diana Rigg!
Rigg is the owner of a wretched little dog named Trickie Woo, who in turn is the owner of a wretched little tummy. It seems that Rigg has been feeding him a diet richer than most humans get — including Beef Wellington and pudding. Throughout their visit to the manse, it becomes quite clear that here, the tables are turned: while Sweet Baby James is quickly sworn in as Trickie’s “uncle,” it seems like she (and Trickie) are not quite so taken by Lesley/Tristan.
But despite the newfound adoration of Trickie Woo and Diana Rigg, it doesn’t seem to be Sweet Baby James’ day. The boys make one last stop to check in on the calf that needed a cast last episode — or perhaps that’s just an excuse for James to make puppy-dog-eyes at Helen, the calf’s owner. And who can blame him, when she’s wearing what are literally the cutest overalls I’ve ever seen? And while that’s all well and good, it’s not long before she gets in a jibe at James — “I didn’t recognize you with your clothes on” — and Lesley/Tristan catches on quick to James’ lil crush.
Back on the home front, the tensions only continue to rise: Tristan/Lesley spills the beans to Horrible Boss about the continuing issues with the Handshaw’s cow; Diana Rigg’s driver arrives with a party invitation “from” Trickie to “Uncle James”; and, as they’re sitting down to dinner, a call comes in: the Handshaw’s cow is still ill.
The next morning, as the boys head back to the Handshaws', we see Mrs. Ma’am writing to her son, Edward. When Horrible Boss finds her putting a five-pound note into the envelope, it becomes clear that something might be quite wrong back in Mrs. Ma’am’s hometown. But that, it seems, will be a mystery to be solved on another day.
But a mystery for today? The cow with milk fever, who just won’t heal. After an exam, SBJ comes to a much more serious conclusion: the poor creature actually has a broken pelvis, and needs to be put down. Needless to say, the ornery Handshaws are not pleased with this diagnosis, and Lesley/Tristan is of little help.
Back at the clinic, Horrible Boss and Dorothy the Vixen flirt over the sale of her car. She agrees to sell him the car for $20 (!!!) as long as he promises that he’ll keep an eye on Mrs. Ma’am. While we won’t believe it until we see it, Horrible Boss gives his word.
Surprisingly, it seems that HB’s purchase of the car was more than just a ruse for his clumsy flirtations. When Scared Baby James arrives home to tell him about the Handshaws' cow, Horrible Boss doesn’t let him finish, instead dragging the whole team outside to present the car as a gift to Lesley/Tristan. But despite his glee, it becomes clear that something is quite wrong, as L/T is less than pleased with his gift.
While we’re left to ponder Lesley/Tristan’s reluctance, Sweet Baby James and Horrible Boss get ready for Trickie Woo’s party. Since SBJ came to the clinic with a couple books and a coat on his back, HB orders Lesley/Tristan to hand over his own tuxedo for SBJ. And while Mrs Ma’am is taking in the tailcoat, she discovers a conspicuous piece of paper, folded in its pocket... but more on that later.
Once Sweet Baby James dons his loaner tailcoat, he and Horrible Bosses head to the party, where HB advises SBJ to take full advantage of the food, drink and… ladies.
And while Diana Rigg seeks to prevent this dictum by granting SBJ an armful of Trickie, it’s not long before HB takes her for a spin on the dance floor, and Helen (in blue velvet!) catches James' eye. They make small talk for a while before Sweet Baby James shoots his shot and asks Helen out (!). She can only to gape at him for a moment (!!), before a man who claims to be called Hugh Houlton (but is clearly Neville Longbottom in disguise as a muggle) comes over, kisses her on the cheek (!!!) and sweeps her away from a mortified SBJ.
As if that wasn’t traumatic enough for Sweet Baby James, Horrible Boss leaps upon him like a bat out of hell. He’s heard from Doctor Pandhi, his local competition, that James has recommended the Handshaws put down their cow — a cow that is apparently just fine.
The party is over for HB and SBJ, who are on their way to the Handshaws', but it seems it’s just beginning for Mrs. Ma’am and Lesley/Tristan. As they play a rather gloomy game of dice, Mrs. Ma’am slowly begins to prod him on what we’re all wondering: just what is going on with that folded piece of paper in his tuxedo jacket?
Well, it seems that maybe, just maybe… Lesley/Tristan didn’t actually pass veterinary school. Like a good housekeeper Mrs. Ma’am is there, and tells him that he must tell Horrible Boss.
...the same Horrible Boss who, right at that moment, is rising to his usual level of crankiness. It seems that the Handshaws' cow is now, indeed, just fine. Apparently, the cow had calved only a day or so before SBJ’s first examination, leading to loosened ligaments and the appearance of a broken pelvis. It’s in high dudgeon that he storms into the clinic, ranting about James’ incapability and quaffing scotch… at least until L/T spills the beans on his failed veterinary exam.
Needless to say, Horrible Boss is less than excited. In fact, he’s a little hysterical, and quite mean. It becomes clear here that this might be the root of HB’s inability to trust and commit to people: his disappointment in his family.
It’s a fully chastened Lesley/Tristan that retreats to the kitchen to lick his wounds. And under Mrs. Ma’am’s watchful eye, he and James, finally, finally find their commonality: they both agree that Horrible Boss is also a Horrible Bully.
The next morning, as the boys put the new car out for sale, they seal their new alliance with a handshake — and a dash from that Horrible Bully when he finally discovers the cracked bumper on his car.
All Creatures Great and Small is streaming now on GBH Passport!
