Every season, the Drama After Dark team gathers ‘round the conference room table to watch the latest and greatest in British dramas, often courtesy of our friends in MASTERPIECE. And let me tell you, 2020 is already off to a great start as far as we’re concerned, because we get to enjoy their newest offering: Sanditon. The show is based on Jane Austen’s unfinished final manuscript, and stars a whole host of truly charming and attractive actors. So, in the grand tradition of media writers, I’m here to recap the season as it happens just in case you, dear reader, miss an episode and haven’t yet been able to catch up on WGBH Passport.
Episode 6 opens with Charlotte waking up JUST as her carriage arrives in London, which belies a level of public transportation napping skills of which I am extremely jealous. The city is just as inhospitable as you’d expect it to be for our country mouse. Charlotte tries to get directions to the street where Otis lives only to be ignored by her fellow passengers and a string of almost comically terrible Central Casting Slum People, who sneer and barf in her general direction. Charlotte gets to Otis’ address and SURPRISE, he doesn’t actually live there. Maybe if Charlotte had bribed the proprietor she would have had more success, but as it stands, he's not super helpful. She does find out that the guy is essentially functioning as a PO box for Otis, and thus has no idea where Otis is.
A disappointed Charlotte leaves and to hammer home how out of her depth she is, she immediately gets attacked by a guy in an alley. Because she's a badass, she’s actually doing a pretty good job of self defense (fun fact: biting is indeed an excellent deterrent) when someone swoops in to save the day. Obviously, it’s Batman (er, Sidney). He tells Charlotte she was dumb to come here, it's too dangerous for the likes of her, but Charlotte disagrees. She feels responsible for Georgiana's predicament and thought, with good reason, that she was the only one who had a lead on Otis' location. Sidney seems unsurprised that Otis appears to have done a runner, which in turn doesn't surprise me: Sidney has a well-established enmity for Otis. Over Charlotte's objections, Sidney puts them both into a carriage out of there. Guess we’re in for the worst slumber party ever!
Meanwhile, Tom is writing a desperate I’m Sorry/I’ll Fix It letter to Mary. She apparently is capable of telepathically knowing what he’s up to, because back in Sanditon, she's stewing in rage. The scene is reminiscent of the John/Abigail Adams songs from the musical 1776, but with less blousy shirts and more animosity. We're a hot second away from this:
Charlotte tells Sidney that she would’ve been much less helpful re: the whole secret boyfriend/sneaking around thing if she knew Sidney had a good reason to believe Georgiana was in danger. Sidney seems to think he was pretty clear that he doesn't like Otis and that should have been enough. I’m gonna side with Charlotte; details were indeed pretty thin on the ground, and while she jumped to conclusions, it’s fair to assume everyone in this era is, at minimum, a little racist, so I’ll give it to her.
Charlotte's on a roll, so she brings up the dirty money thing again. Sidney FINALLY redeems himself: he hates slavery, and has #divested himself from the sugar trade, which is still reliant on slave labor. Charlotte still can’t figure out why we don’t like Otis (same) but Sidney points out that obviously Otis will get all of Georgiana's money the second he marries her (hooray for this SUPER unfair rule, which wasn't changed until 1870). Charlotte, somewhat convinced, comes up with a great idea: let’s go to the Sons of Africa meeting! Sidney is begrudgingly impressed. It's almost like someone who actually has spent time with Charlotte and Otis might be helpful in tracking them down!
At the Sons of Africa meeting, Otis is serving face AND good rhetoric when the Super Squad interrupts. He says he doesn’t know anything about the kidnapping, which Sidney finds hard to believe since it happened at the time and place of their date. Charlotte remembers a clue from before: someone else picked up Otis' last batch of mail, to which Otis responds:
Otis: Uhhhhh oh crap. I owe this guy Mr. Beecroft a bunch of money.
Chartlotte: And WHOMST, praytell, is that?
Sidney: He runs a gambling parlor and is BAD NEWS.
So away to said parlor we go. Beecroft, the dirty crook who runs the place, knows both the gentlemen and pretends he didn’t know they were the 1800s equivalent of connected on LinkedIn. We find out that Otis had intimated that he’d be marrying Georgiana soon and would have more money. Otis says this was just to buy time, and it does seem like a classic gambling addict THING to tell your loan shark you’ll have money soon, but obviously Sidney and Charlotte are not thrilled.
Sidney: Well, it doesn’t matter what Otis said, he barely knows Georgiana, so please tell us where my ward is and we’ll be on our way. Separately.
Loan Shark: No skin off my back! A gentleman has agreed to pay Otis’ debts, with interest.
Sidney looks incredibly worried about this, and I'm right there with him: no one pays off a stranger's debt for free. Who’s this mystery gentleman?? Well, he's a huge jerk, and his name is Mr. Howard. He bought out Otis' debt in exchange for a quickie marriage to Georgiana and her considerable inheritance. Technically this sham marriage isn't allowed because Sidney’s her legal guardian, but guess what? They can just go across the border to Scotland, a.k.a. the Las Vegas of the UK.
Otis decides to push his luck, and the limits of Sidney's temper, by pointing out that if Sidney had just let them get married none of this would've happened. Obviously, this causes Sidney to lose his damn mind, send Otis away, and descend into a deep sulk. Thankfully, Charlotte doesn't give up on the saving Georgiana plan. Once again, she's got the right idea:
Charlotte: Look, that guy’s a loan shark and he said he was promised payment. He might still have Georgiana stashed somewhere around here; he seems like the kind of dude who would protect his investments so she might still be in London.
Once again I must point out that Sidney would be getting nowhere fast without Charlotte's help. She's obviously right, and that reminds him that Loan Shark has a boarding house over on Drury Lane, so they head over there to hopefully find Georgiana, and maybe to drop in on the Muffin Man while they're at it.
Across town, Georgiana gets dragged in front of Mr. Howard, who is channeling Jabba the Hutt in both appearance and behavior. There’s also a fancy female go-between who appears to be representing Beecroft the Loan Shark. Unfortunately, she's not there for the lady solidarity, because all she does is take Mr. Howard the Hutt's cash while some other dude manhandles Georgiana. As usual, Georgiana has very little patience for BS, and tells Mr. Howard he's gross and she's just not that into him. Because he's one of the galaxy's most powerful gangsters, this doesn't really bother him, as he's "broken horses before." While I am wracked by a full body shudder, Georgiana just tells him to watch out for Otis, who she says will kill Mr. Howard the Hutt in the fashion of Liam Neeson in Taken once he realizes what's happening.
But Mr. Howard the Hutt isn't having that: per him, Otis is the one who set Georgiana up in order to pay off his debts.
Did you forget about Sanditon in all this big city action? Me too! Bad news: Lady D is not looking so hot. She's abed, and surrounded by all of her various would-be heirs. Folgers Sister and Clara both appear to be kind of worried/upset, but Folgers Brother is, as always, a creep AND a bad actor. He's very obviously faking his distress. Lady D calls them out for being vultures, tells them she won't give them the satisfaction of dying, and drinks some seawater, like the #BossLady she is. Folgers Brother, ever the opportunist, suggests that they might want to call for a priest, just for peace of mind, or even, dare he say it, her lawyer? I have to give it to him, he's not pulling his punches. Guess what though: Lady D hates religion as much as she hates modern medicine, and her lawyer already has her will on lock.
Back in London, Charlotte tells Sidney to cut Otis a break, since he obviously didn't mean to put Georgiana in danger. Sidney's still not feeling it, and calls Otis an inveterate gambler. I hasten to point out that it might be a little rich for Sidney to call out ANYONE for gambling whilst he continues to support Tom's nonsense.
Charlotte just wants Georgiana to be happy, and Sidney claims the same, but she calls him out: so far the evidence shows us that Sidney avoids everyone, hates love, and is a real Grumpy Gus.
Sidney: Whatever, man — you're too naive to know anything about love.
Charlotte: Well I’d rather be naive than a consummate hater.
Sidney: LOL, I wish I wasn’t unfeeling; my life would’ve been way easier.
Reader, at this, he gets positively WISTFUL. Perhaps Babs is not the first of the boys to get wrecked on the rocks of true love!
Back in Sanditon, Folgers Brother rifles through Lady D's desk looking for her will. Folgers Sister tells him to cool it; the will is set, and Lady D is really ill — shouldn't we perhaps worry about our hilariously sassy and potentially dying relative? Folgers Brother tells her all he cares about is their happiness, but you guys, I'm not sure she bought it! His facade is cracking! Huzzah!
In London, the Super Squad pulls up outside the boarding house and Sidney tells Charlotte to wait in the car (without even cracking a window for her, which is rude). After we get inside the "boarding house" I get why: this place is FOR SURE a bordello, and based on the crowd reaction to Sidney, this is not his first visit. Charlotte obviously doesn't stay in the carriage, and on her entrance, the fancy female go-between we met earlier, who appears to be the "boarding house" Madame, asks if Charlotte made an honest man of our Sidney. Charlotte's reaction?
But we have more pressing issues than Charlotte's complicated feelings for Sidney Parker. For instance, the impending/ongoing kidnapping of Georgiana! Fancy Female Go-Between/Madame proves useful, and tells them that Georgiana and Mr. Howard the Hutt just left, but if they hurry, they might be able to catch them before they get into Outlander territory. On the way out, Charlotte can't resist getting a dig in at Sidney.
Charlotte: Ew, dude, you were a regular here?
Sidney: Now is not the time to call me on my BS! Also, don’t be shady.
In Sanditon, Folgers Brother has been looking for the will all night, and Folgers Sister correctly points out that he's acting nuts. He can't be stopped, however, and tells her to go tell folks Lady D isn't well, and that he'll be right over once he finds the will.
En route to Scotland, Mr. Howard the Hutt tells Georgiana he hopes she’ll eventually grow to care for him.
Georgiana, Dramatique, but Fair: Absolutely not; I’d rather slit my throat.
Mr. Howard the Hutt: That’s a shame, your throat is pretty. At least wait until we’re married.
She looks truly hopeless for the first time. But she shouldn’t, because guess who’s right behind them? Sidney, and he’s prepared to channel the characters in one of my favorite franchises, The Fast and the Furious, to save her.
Move over, Paul Walker: Sidney pulls his carriage alongside theirs, jumps between them, knocks out the driver, and grabs Georgiana. Mr. Howard the Hutt tries to say she’s his property (yuck) but Georgiana shuts that down, yelling “I’m no one’s property!” as they leave. Mr. Howard the Hutt gets the last word, telling Sidney he's owed 1800 pounds as they leave. Guys, that's the equivalent of about $218,000 in 2020 cash.
Back in Sanditon, Folgers Brother has lost his mind and is STILL tearing the study apart, when Clara waltzes in, will in hand. Hilariously, Lady D has left all of her money to future Sanditon development and a milch ass (I reiterate: the animal, not the Tall White Butts from episode 1). Clara, never one to lose to an ass, has a plan: what if we got rid of the will? Folgers Brother tries to chuck it directly into the fire, but Clara has terms, and she's perfectly willing to play hardball. Gentle reader, I know you wish that wasn't an innuendo, and so do I, but here we are.
In London, everyone turns up at Tom’s house, whose excitement at having friends quickly turns to concern because everyone is shook. Now that they have a second to process, Georgiana asks what's going to happen with Otis. Sidney says he'll take care of it, but Georgiana can't just switch off her emotions like that. Sidney, opening up the teensiest little bit, tells her that he gets it: breakups SUCK, but it'll get better. Slightly later, he fills Tom in on the day's shenanigans, and while Tom is willing to validate him, Sidney still feels bad. He's concerned that he broke Georgiana's spirit and betrayed the trust of his bestie, her dead dad. He's not sure how, but he wants to make amends, and he assumes Tom will get that since that's why Tom's in London.
Tom: Uh, no, I'm here to get people to the regatta!
Sidney: Tom, buddy: I was at the cricket. Tell me the truth.
Tom: UGH fine. It’s really bad. I talked to so many people and no one cares about Sanditon or the regatta. I can’t pay the laborers, and maybe worst of all, Mom Parker doesn't trust me anymore.
Sidney, saving the day: Well ok; Babs will be able to help us get people to the regatta, and I’ll lend you the cash to pay your workers. I obviously don’t know anything about marriage, but I do know that Mom Parker’s great, so you need to fix things with her ASAP.
Back in Sanditon, Clara and Folgers Brother watch Lady D's will burn. Clara tells Folgers Brother he’s about to get VERY rich, which is obviously a huge turn on for both of them because they immediately start going at it right there in the drawing room on the very "subtle" snake motif-ed floor. Clara immediately gets on top. There’s a lot of symbolism happening, is what I’m saying.
Because this is apparently the episode where we all deal with our problems through talk therapy, Charlotte unpacks everything with her pal Tom. Charlotte's overwhelmed; she thought she was so sensible but she got a lot wrong, and she's starting to get why Sidney was so rude to her before. Tom, who's a pretty solid friend, tells her that Sidney is weird, but was more pleasant as a youngster. Remember when Mom Parker mentioned Sidney's broken engagement? Well we've gotten to the part in the show where we unlock his Tragic Backstory, and it's a doozy. Apparently, Sidney was all ready to get hitched when his fiance dumped him for a rich guy. In the aftermath, he went... a little wild. Tom had to pay off his debts, and Sidney ran off to Antigua to forget his ex, but he's still isn't the same.
Story-time is interrupted by Otis and Sidney arriving. Sidney is apparently a big softie after all, and wants to give the young lovers a proper goodbye. What follows is beautifully acted and a HUGE bummer. Otis apologizes and tells Georgiana he doesn't care about her money, only her. Georgiana tells him that his boasting still had consequences, and that it doesn't matter if she believes him or not. They're both heartbroken; I hate it. Charlotte stops Otis on his way out and we find out that Sidney paid off all his debts?! Damn, Sidney! Here's my question: where is Sid getting all this cash? 1800 for Mr. Howard the Hutt, PLUS Otis' other debts, PLUS 3,000 for Tom to pay Stringbean and the boys ain't chump change.
Back in Sanditon, we have to watch a post-coital showdown between Clara and Folgers Brother.
Clara: I hope I can trust you to honor our agreement to 1/4 of the cash; it’s a lady’s prerogative to change her mind.
Folgers Brother: You're the worst; we said 1/5! And you're no lady.
Clara: Oh for sure, for sure, but is your sister? I haven’t told anyone about your impersonation of the Lannister twins from Game of Thrones yet, and I guess I could stay quiet about that and our... activities. For my 1/4 share.
MIC DROP CLARA.
Back in London, Babs has saved the day. There’s a fancy party this very evening, and he scored invites for the whole gang. Charlotte initially demurs given the high speed rescue and emotional fallout (not to mention baby's first trip to a house of ill repute) but Sidney talks her into attending, especially since the regatta was her idea. Charlotte asks why he paid off Otis' debts, and Sidney tells her that it was the right thing to do. Charlotte is pretty into that, and tries to apologize, but Sidney is having none of it and (correctly) tells her that HE should be the one to apologize.
At Folgers Manor, stepbrother dearest is back, and is proving that he's terrible at sneaking around. Folgers Sister asks if he found the will. He lies and says that it was completely missing, and that Lady D must be losing it. Folgers Sister doesn't seem to buy it entirely, but is ready for all this nonsense to be over so she can get away from Clara. He covers his recent Clara-related activities with a big ol' forehead smooch, which Folgers Sister seems to find at least a little suspect. I hope I'm not just projecting, and that she dumps him soon.
Sidney is apparently pretty persuasive, because Charlotte is READY to go to this ball, and even has a nice She's All That moment on the staircase.
If it was anyone else, I'd say her "do I look ok?" was fishing for a compliment, but the class struggle is real so I'll give her a pass. Anyway, Sidney is clearly really feeling her look for the evening, and he's not alone, based on this interaction with the show's Statler and Waldorf:
Crowe: Oooh who’s the hottie? Introduce me!
Babs: That’s Charlotte, dummy.
Crowe, backpedaling: Uhhhh nice mask, did not recognize you!
Babs:
Tom: Ok can we please stop ogling my friend and focus on ME? You’re all here to do your duty and get people to the boat race. Dismissed!
Crowe: I’m just here to drink, but whatevs.
Not to be an enabler, but Charlotte could probably also use a drink. She feels really bad for leaving Georgiana at home and doesn't think she's rich enough to fit in. Sidney, who seems to have caught the sharing bug, tells her that he often feels like he doesn't belong even though he has money. Bonding!
Tom is doing his best razzle dazzle but folks are not really feeling it. Their reaction:
The party is DOPE but clearly people aren’t there to actually talk to each other, and Charlotte is over it. She asks Sidney if it's cool if she leaves.
Sidney: MY permission? You never ask for that.
Charlotte: I KNOW, I’m the worst.
Sidney: NOoooo I actually like it, I’ve been faking this whole time.
Babs, interrupting (DAMN IT BABS): Wellllll, the regatta is NOT selling, kids.
Tom, also interrupting by yelling across the room: SIDNEY COME OVER HERE AND TALK TO THESE PEOPLE ABOUT MY TOWN!!!!
Sidney goes to help Tom, leaving Charlotte to struggle through a conversation with Babs. Charlotte asks him how things are going with Folgers Sister.
Babs: I thought everything was going well. Anyway, you’re a girl — can you change your feelings about a fella in a day?
Charlotte, despite having JUST asked Babs about Folgers Sister, assumes that he's talking about her, and the crush on Sidney that she's been trying to bury this whole time. She makes her excuses, and runs off to freak out in private. Charlotte's just about to really lean into her meltdown when a nice lady politely lets her know she’s not actually alone in the party’s Introvert Panic Nook.
Mystery Lady: Yeah, this party is indeed A Lot. Oh, crap — you're not the host's kid, right? That'd be awkward.
Charlotte: Nah, I'm not from here and I am NOT feeling it.
Mystery Lady: If you hate the party, why are you here?
Charlotte: Well, long story short, my heiress friend was abducted to be sold into a forced marriage. We saved her, but now I'm stuck at this party trying to sell these rich people on the Sanditon regatta.
Mystery Lady: That does sound like a lot to process, but kid, you seem very overwhelmed — what's the real problem? Also I'm Susan BTW.
Charlotte: Well, Susan, I just realized that I've been hating on this guy for 5 episodes but I actually respect him and want his good opinion. WTF?
Susan: Hate to break it to you, but I think you're in love.
Charlotte:
Susan: LOL, sorry, but you can’t help these things, love is a DISEASE.
Sidney, of course, chooses this moment to make an entrance, which Susan finds hilarious, and so do I. Sidney's here to ask Charlotte to dance.
Charlotte: You didn’t need to ask me just to be polite!
Sidney: Dances are for dancing, dude.
Charlotte: But there are lots of other ladies here to ask.
Him: Yeah, but I don’t want to dance with *them.*
You have GOT to love a ball scene. When else, in these modern times, are we given permission to lose our minds over a basic hand grasp? Anyway, this particular ball scene is EXCELLENT: Charlotte and Sidney have great chemistry and the music is as on point as it has been the whole season. Just as they finish dancing, Sidney makes eye contact with a hottie across the room. I wonder who it could be? Surely not his ex!
Tom cuts in to dance with Charlotte, which is adorable. I weirdly really like their friendship. Tom tells her he's happy to see she's feeling better, which is a nice sentiment that he immediately goes ahead and ruins.
Tom: Sidney seems a lot better too! I think it’s because of a young lady.
Charlotte, actually being coy for once: Whoooooo???
Tom: Oh, his ex, he’s talking to her now!
Me: TOM, WTF. Also:
Tom, oblivious: Yeah, so funny that she’s here when we were just talking about her this morning! Anywhoodles, she’s been very recently widowed. Maybe Sidney finally has a chance to be happy. Bye!
Charlotte is gutted, and that’s how the episode ends. RUDE. We'll just have to see how this love triangle (er, quadrilateral??) plays out next week in episode 7!
Episode 1 Recap: The Hamptons of Old Timey England
Episode 2 Recap: This Pineapple's The Bomb
Episode 3 Recap: Y'all Need OSHA
Episode 4 Recap: (Third) Wheelin' and Dealin'
Episode 5 Recap: Baseball, But Make it Fraught with Sexual Tension
Episode 6 Recap: Ballin' on a Budget
Episode 7 Recap: Something's Regatta Give
Episode 8 Recap: Great Balls of Fire
