Van Der Valk seems determined to convince me that Amsterdam is the coolest city in the world, and so far it’s kinda working? This episode opens in a billiard hall, a thing I was convinced no longer exists, driven away by the Harold Hills of the world (I was wrong: there’s one less than a mile from the GBH offices). Anyway, THIS billiard hall has a bunch of cool cats, including Euro Cash, who opens the show by losing a game. He’s not having the worst night of the crew, because Hassell calls him, and she looks about as good as any of us feel after spending any length of time on social media these days, i.e. BAD.

Morning. A canal. And… bicycles? We’re most decidedly not in Kansas, friends. Two dudes on bikes race through the twisty streets of Amsterdam, pursued by some very serious police officers. At first it looks like they escape, but no: one of the dudes is, despite his European Johnny Cash ensemble, actually a lawman. I have to assume the stunt budget is negligible, but it’s enough to get us a short but sweet bike fight, quickly culminating in Euro Cash handcuffing the other dude (who I think you should know is wearing a Classic Mafia Tracksuit) to a bridge. He has just enough time to catch his breath and make a cheeky quip about the weather while we process that it’s the same actor who we all just learned to hate when he played Captain Sideburns in Beecham House. Hopefully he’s ditched his evil ways along with the evil facial hair!

I’m not going to lie to you all: I’m SUPER bummed that we've arrived at the season finale for Beecham House. Where else will I get himbo brothers on a road trip? Where else will I find such actually fun "downstairs" hijinks, and when will Bindu get the screentime she so richly deserves? Whither the satisfaction of seeing Ozzy learn how to be a baller at Begum Samru's knee? But I guess we mustn’t dwell, at least not until we find out what happens in this episode. On with the show! Jail sure isn’t looking fun for our buddy JB. A few days pass while Prince Akbar tries to talk his mom into NOT throwing JB under the bus.

What do you do after you reveal your biggest secret, potentially putting your baby in danger and pushing away a cute gal you’re kind of into? Well if you’re JB, you find a secluded spot to sit where you can be backlit by the sunset. It’s almost as if he’s predicting the rise of the Instagram influencer about 200 years early, and frankly, it works. Back at the house, Maya gets to wake up to the lovely sound of her roommate Chanchal barfing. I think we all know where this is going! In less troubling news, Chandrika and JB seem to be building a sibling relationship that looks like it might give them both some comfort. Having the secret out in the open has at least made the two of them a little less weird and broody, which makes sense, and as a viewer, is a big relief, not that I think it'll last.

Remember how last week Chandrika was sneaking into JB’s room in the middle of the night? We’re about to find out why. JB: You shouldn’t have come here! Chandrika: Come on, don’t pretend we don’t have a connection. You can’t just forget the past. JB: Looking at you just overwhelms me, dude! Chandrika: Oh, me too. JB: Then what do you want from me?? Does Chandrika answer? I don't know, because we immediately cut to the next morning. PTF Violet barges into Mom Beecham’s room first thing, because she’s mad as hell re: what she saw last night, and she’s not gonna take it any more!

Is JB a crow? Because he’s very easily distracted by shiny objects. Case in point, this episode opens with our guy paying a visit to the artisan he mentioned last week, and proving once and for all that he really is a huge nerd for craftsmanship. He compliments the artisan on his talent, and points out details for Captain Sideburns like such a dork that you can tell the artisan is about ten minutes away from falling in love with our dashing hero. But he’s not quite there yet...

Welcome back to Beecham House, where we’re kicking things off with what I have to assume is Bindu’s literal worst nightmare: she’s trying to give Mom Beecham a bath, and Mom Beecham is throwing a fit. Her complaints: the water is brown, the towels are thin, and she thinks she’s going to slip. Baadal bustles in on hearing her shrieks to try and troubleshoot, but she just seems determined to be unpleasant. He's not gonna stick around for that, so he heads out to get new towels and abandons Bindu to deal with Mom Beecham, who’s insisting that this isn’t how ladies bathe. Before she can explain her personal cleanliness standards, a scorpion trudles through the bathroom. Bindu casually shoos it away because a) she’s clearly seen a few scorpions in her day and b) she’s a boss. Mom Beecham and PTF Violet freak out, and loud enough that Baadal, Ram Lal, and several other folks run in.

Every season, the Drama After Dark team gathers ‘round the conference room table to watch the latest and greatest in British dramas. This summer, we’re incredibly excited to bring you coverage of MASTERPIECE’s new show Beecham House. Beecham is a delight: sensual and sumptuous, it features an attractive and diverse cast, a historical setting that encourages reflection, and absolutely to-die-for costumes. I’m here to recap the season as it happens just in case you, dear reader, miss an episode and haven’t yet been able to catch up on WGBH Passport.

Cold weather is coming to Poplar, and as with every seasonal change in Call The Midwife land, there's a celebration 'a brewin'. I don't know what it is yet, but let's go ahead and assume that's what Fred will be up to for the majority of the episode. At Nonnatus, Baby Doctor offers to make Trixie and Val a cuppa. Since Trixie is fancy, and Val is rushing off to visit Gran, they decline, but not before Val Tom Sawyers Baby Doctor into packaging up her latest baked good offering for Gran, the minx. Clearly Baby Doctor hasn’t been informed about the whole “Gran is in jail” situation, but since he's pretty new that seems fair. What’s he doing this fine afternoon? Well, he's On Call, i.e,. hoping to stay home and watch wrestling on TV with Phyllis. Huh? You ask. Well apparently, Phyllis LOVES to watch wrestling, and thinks she's kept this hobby secret from everyone. Unfortunately for her, there are no secrets in Nonnatus, so they all know. Fortunately for her, they're all sweethearts, so they pretend not to.

My new favorite best friends, Baby Doctor and Sister Frances, kick off this episode by tag-teaming a slightly complicated forceps delivery, while proud papa Dr. Turner looks on. Good job, junior! Let me tell you, Dr. Turner is loving life as a doc of (relative) leisure. Pretty great to have Baby Doctor around to take over sometimes! And speaking of babies (how's THAT for an applicable Call The Midwife recap phrase??), we have a special delivery: the much anticipated incubator! Everyone is on hand for the unveiling, including a Cub Scout advance guard. This is a hugely positive development for our pals: premie babies can now stay in Poplar with their families. Vi, in full on Councilor Buckle mode, prepares for the unveiling with her special ceremonial scissors, and kind of snubs Shelagh in the process. Lucky for her, Shelagh doesn't seem to mind. VI cuts the ribbon with great aplomb, and everyone poses for a photo in the paper.