Somehow, we’re already at this season’s final episode, and despite my confusion about that fact, our friends are diving right into the action. At the morgue, New Guy examines the body of a murder victim (stabbing, pretty typical) and then assigns a lead investigator. Will it be Hardscrabble, who’s practically begging for the job? No, it’s some other dude we’ve never seen before! Rude!

It’s hard to believe that we’re almost at the end of the season, but alas, here we are. Last week, we bid adieu to another friend… or hooroo, as they apparently say in Australia? At least we’ll always have the Hotel St Marc, Detective Mustache! Anyway, though I am personally distressed by this development, we have a case to solve, and childhood trauma to unlock.

This week’s episode finds us in prison, listening to the ever-delightful Detective Mustache read aloud whilst drinking whiskey. Less delighted thank I by this frankly idyllic scene? The prison guard Detective Mustache has been bribing to supply the aforementioned booze (who, it seems, has not been paid in some time). But rather than quibble over cash, the guard delivers an update: the Governor wants to see our friend. Why? A committee has been dispatched to shorten the sentences of select prisoners due to overcrowding, and Detective Mustache? He’s just good enough at flimflam to convince the committee to let him out. Immediately.

Our third installment of the season kicks off with Ivy’s foray into the 9 to 5 lifestyle. Trying to manage household chores, have breakfast, and still be on time for work is never easy, and that’s before factoring in all the things Ivy still does to support her employer/surrogate child Victoria Mars. It’s a lot, ok?

Our second episode begins at a VERY swanky restaurant. Ivy and Barney the Morgue Bureaucrat have gone out for a nice dinner to celebrate the latter’s promotion to chief clerk, and invited Victoria Mars and Accountant along, for some reason. To be clear: Accountant is a surprisingly good hang. It’s Victoria Mars who surprises me, given her long-standing and barely contained feud with Ivy’s fiance.

Well, reader, it’s hard to believe that we’re back for another new season of the newly renamed Miss Scarlet. LAST season ended on a bonkers note with our pal Victoria Mars (Eliza) helping out Detective Mustache (Nash) after he got into even crazier shenanigans than usual, leaving him on the hook for kidnapping and obstruction charges. More importantly (and again I point you to the show name change), Duke Silver (William) officially left our friends to go take a job in America, leaving a lot of confusion and broken hearts in his wake.

Winter is here (allegedly — as a snow loving Boston resident, I’m miffed) and so is a drama fan favorite holiday tradition: the Call The Midwife Holiday Special! I’m here to recap the show just in case you missed it, or just couldn’t get enough of our favorite nurses, nuns, and other assorted denizens of Poplar.

Last time we visited Amsterdam, we met a scary mystery assassin, a doofy billionaire, and a conspiracy theorist (and only one of them walked into a bar). And speaking of which, we kick off this week’s episode in Cliff’s bar, where the team uses security footage of the club to start searching for mystery assassin.

Somehow, reader, we’re on to the last case of the season (and we still don’t have an update on the most important case yet: Hendrik’s self-diagnosed throat cancer). Speaking of which: our episode kicks off with Piet and Hendrik chilling by a fire while Piet tries to talk Hendrik into getting a second opinion.

We’re back right where we left off, bird fans: in the middle of the street, whilst the crime scene techs collect evidence from the body of Meatball. While they do their thing, Piet and Hassell speculate on who would want to kill Meatball anyway: he ostensibly did his part of the job, having delivered that giant bag of money. Was it retribution for killing Gerda? Or maybe it was the fact that he saw someone else at the scene and thus could rat out the murderer.