Every season, the Drama After Dark team gathers ‘round the (virtual) conference room table to watch the latest and greatest in British dramas. This month, we’re covering North and South: a killer period drama that will air on GBX 44 in May (and is currently available to stream on Brit Box).
There’s only one episode left for Mags and Thorny to make up and the kiss a bunch? Preposterous. Alas, the only way to get that sweet sweet romantic payoff is to actually start the episode, so on with the show!
Things in Milton are still pretty bleak. Bates’ Earthy Granddad is turned away from yet another factory, probably because he’s refusing to not pay into the union. Mags heads out for her daily walk around town, alone, unfortunately, because Country Dad is at home grieving Country Mom’s death. The Country Squad hasn’t had as many visitors lately, but when Bates’ Earthy Granddad shows up, Dixon is weirdly grumpy about letting him in. Is it because of his muddy shoes, or because she’s worried about the family’s social standing? Impossible to say.
Bates’ Earthy Granddad: Well, I’ve been out looking for work, and trying to be on extra good behavior so I can help support our dead rock-throwing friend’s kiddos. But I need some help, if you’re willing.
Country Dad: Yeah, of course, what can I do?
Bates’ Earthy Granddad: I’m wondering if you have any connections down south where the cost of living is lower and people are nicer, if Mags is to be believed.
Country Dad: What kind of work would you want?
Bates’ Earthy Granddad: I mean, I could dig or something?
Mags: Dude, I’m saying this as your friend, don’t do this. You’ll be bored to death. Have you tried to get a job at Thorny’s place?
Bates’ Earthy Granddad: Yeah buddy, and they ran me off.
Mags: Please try again — talk to Thorny directly?
Bates’ Earthy Granddad: You know my whole thing is being super prideful, right? I’d rather starve. Anyway, let me know if you think of any good job opportunities in your old neck of the woods. I’ll be off.
Mags: Ugh, I hope he’ll change his mind.
Country Dad: I’m sorry, but who are you and what have you done with my daughter? Admitting that the south isn’t perfect and Thorny is actually an ok guy? What’s happened?
Mags, internally: Apparently Thorny isn’t the only one who gets turned on by rejection. That’s what’s happening!
Another character enjoying some growth? Ol’ Battleaxe, who keeps her deathbed promise and comes over to visit the Country Squad.
Mags: Thank you so much for visiting! It means a lot to both of us. Also btw I have some sheet music for Wannabe Caroline Bingley, let me grab it!
Ol’ Battleaxe: I’m not here for my foolish kid’s nonsense! I’m here for a reason — I promised your mom that if I knew you’d done something wrong I’d talk to you about it, and guess what bud, it’s time for some tough love. You were seen after dark with a man, and that’s really not a cute look.
Mags: Wow. WOW. I’m sure my mom didn’t mean for you to insult me. And whatever Thorny said…
Ol’ Battleaxe: My SON hasn’t told me anything — you don’t know him at all! He doesn’t blab, he’s a man of honor.
Mags: Well that does sound like him. I can explain what happened — I did do something wrong, but not the thing you're thinking of.
Ol’ Battleaxe: Look, I didn’t like it when my kid was into you. You didn’t seem good enough for him. But I was going to be cool about it! Your behavior on the day of the riot exposed your feelings, and then by the time he actually proposed, you’d changed your mind! What the hell was that about? And now that you’ve gone and ruined your reputation, I can’t say that I’m sorry you turned him down!
Mags: I don’t have to listen to this. Good day.
Across town, Bates’ Earthy Granddad tries to grab Thorny for a quick chat, but Thorny won’t stop. He’s in a bad mood, and he’s got places to be. As it turns out, there's a good reason for the bad mood — Thorny’s in a bad spot. He’d taken out a loan to buy some extra machinery in order to fulfill several massive orders, but after the strike, the factory is so far behind that it’s looking like they won’t ever catch up. His loan can be extended, but he’s on shaky round, and he knows it.
Banker: I mean, if you want to turn it around, you could get involved with some investment opportunities.
Thorny: Speculation? Me? Never. I don’t believe in financial risk.
Me: Good call, Thornster, you CANNOT trust fictional financial advisors. Exhibit A:
You don’t want to know what that guy’s gonna do to you if the money doesn’t come through.
Banker: Let’s be clear. If things don’t change, you won’t have any money left to risk.
With that bad news still floating around his head, Thorny heads back to the factory, where Bates’ Earthy Granddad is still waiting to talk.
Thorny: Alright, well, if you’re gonna lurk like that you better come in. What do you want?
Bates’ Earthy Granddad: A job. Now look, I’m a hard worker.
Thorny: Yeah, and you’re also a notorious sh*t-stirrer. I had to fire a bunch of my best guys because of your union shenanigans!
Bates’ Earthy Granddad: I know what I seem like, but here’s the deal. I would never cause trouble for no reason. If I saw a problem, I’d bring it to you first, and I work hard and relentlessly.
Thorny: How would I know you weren’t just planning to cause trouble again?
Bates’ Earthy Granddad: Because I need work to support the family of that jackass we all have to be nice to now that he’s dead.
Thorny: Ok, but if I believed you, I’d encourage you to do some other type of work.
Bates’ Earthy Granddad: And I would! But that’s seasonal work, and I need to keep the kids from starving during the winter. If you know any consistent, non-mill work, I’m all ears. I’ll take any wage.
Thorny: Oho! So you’d take less than others who aren’t protected by a union? That’s a little hypocritical, wouldn’t you say? You’re wasting your time, I won’t hire you.
Bates’ Earthy Granddad: See, I knew that from the start. I should never have let some chick convince me you actually cared about people.
Thorny, pretending he’s not happy to hear that: Tell her to stop wasting everyone’s time then!
Bates’ Earthy Granddad leaves, and Thorny, who really is kind-hearted deep down inside, asks his middle manager for more info. As we suspected, Bates’ Earthy Granddad really has been waiting around all day to talk to Thorny with a persistence that Thorny can’t help but admire.
And speaking of being unable to NOT admire something, Mags runs into Wannabe Caroline Bingley, who starts flapping her left hand around immediately so we all have no choice but to notice her new engagement ring.
Mags: Oh, congratulations!
New Fiance: Mags, you might want to get your shopping in now before my intended buys up the whole store.
Wannabe Caroline Bingley: Yeah, ok, he’s kinda old, but Mags, he’s rich. Perfect match for our family. He’s been trying to get Thorny into some speculation.
Mags: Whaaat? I thought Thorny didn’t do that sort of thing?
Wannabe Caroline Bingley: Oh, everyone’s doing it! My brother’ll have to get on that bandwagon and modernize if he wants to survive!
And then, Wannabe Caroline Bingley, who clearly doesn’t have any idea how dire things have gotten for her family, insists that the shopkeeper NOT let New Fiance buy anything for her, and send the bills to the mill. Mags, who’s a little more savvy, looks concerned, but what can you do? Well, if you’re Wannabe Caroline Bingley, you can talk smack about Mags to your family!
Wannabe Caroline Bingley: You would not believe that horrible Mags — she acted surprised that I was engaged, as if we couldn’t afford it! Us! And she’s like… old. And boring. And now disgraced! She’s never gonna hook a man!
Ol’ Battleaxe:
Wannabe Caroline Bingley: And then I told her about this super smart speculation idea, and she acted like it was a terrible idea! As if she knows you better than I do!
Thorny: Oh my god, stop talking about my business choices in public! And what do you know, all you do is spend money, not make it.
Wannabe Caroline Bingley: I know my man’s proposition is a good one, and if you’d just take it you’d make money for sure!
Thorny: There’s nothing certain about speculation! I have a whole mill full of people to support, and if I lose money, I definitely can’t pay for your wedding.
Wannabe Caroline Bingley: Well I still think I’m right!
Ol’ Battleaxe: Is it really that risky?
Thorny: Yes. If it succeeded we’d be set for life, but if it fails… look, right now I can keep paying everyone, do you want me to risk that?
Ol’ Battleaxe: Ugh, I guess not. What can I do?
Thorny: Hope that we have a good summer so people want to buy new clothes, and that Wannabe Caroline Bingley doesn’t order more new stuff.
Apparently, being on the edge of financial ruin makes Thorny curious about how the other half live, and he heads into the bad side of town to pay a call to Bates’ Earthy Granddad and his many adopted children.
Thorny: Yikes, dude, are all these your kids?
Bates’ Earthy Granddad: Like I said before, they are now! You didn’t believe me?
Thorny: No, I was being a jerk. I wouldn’t have been able to be the bigger person and take these kids on. I know you weren’t lying, and I'm here to apologize. Want a job?
Bates’ Earthy Granddad: I mean, you’ve talked a lot of crap about me. Do you really think we can buddy up?
Thorny: We don’t need to be buddies to work together. You in?
Bates’ Earthy Granddad: Yes.
Thorny: Great. As proof that I’m on board, here’s one of my "big deal alert" handshakes. Just be warned, the first time I find you being too smart for your own good, you’re in trouble.
Bates’ Earthy Granddad: Then I guess you have yourself a himbo employee, pal.
Thorny: Perfect. Oh, and just while I’m here, was Mags the one who told you to come talk to me? You should have told me that!
Bates’ Earthy Granddad: OH. Noted.
Thorny: Don’t note anything, geez!
Later, Thorny stops by the Country Squad house for his lesson with Country Dad, and just happens to let Mags know that he gave Bates’ Earthy Granddad a job.
Mags: That’s awesome! I feel like you guys have real BFF potential.
Thorny: I didn’t realize you’d encouraged him to come ask.
Mags: Well, would that have made you more or less likely to listen?
Thorny: Unclear! But I won’t rescind the offer now that I do know.
Mags: Yeah buddy, I know you wouldn’t do that. I like you better than you like me right now.
Thorny, incapable of dealing with the potential implications of THAT comment, scoots off. After the lesson, Country Dad finally decides to initiate some fatherly real talk with Mags.
Country Dad: So, kiddo, you don’t have to answer this, but do you have any reason to think Thorny might be into you?
Mags: Ugh, Dad, I’m sorry.
Country Dad: So you turned him down?
Mags: I should have said something.
Country Dad: Nah, it just explains why he hasn’t been coming around as often. And as you know, he’s pretty much my only friend, so at least I know it’s not a me thing. But Mags, if you don’t want him here, I’ll tell him not to come around anymore. As long as you were honest with him it’s all ok.
Mags, repressing her feelings like a pro: I didn’t do anything I wouldn’t repeat.
Me: That’s not an answer, Mags!!!!
TBH, I think we don’t have an answer because Mags still hasn’t figured out her own feelings, but still! Get it together, lady! Just to hammer home the “Thorny’s a good dude who you really like” plot point a bit harder, Mags has Bates’ Earthy Granddad and one of his new kiddos over for dinner, and the topic of conversation, of course, turns to Thorny.
Bates’ Earthy Granddad: Begrudgingly, I have to admit that I like him. The dude works harder than anyone, and he’s taken an interest in this kiddo’s education, which is a huge deal. I can’t quite figure him out.
Mags, joking: Well the union definitely won’t like you now that you’re on board the Thorny express.
Bates’ Earthy Granddad: Choo Choo, pal. And just so we’re clear: takes one to know one.
Later, Thorny finds that very same nerd kid reading outside the mill. Where’s Bates’ Earthy Granddad? Well he’s just finished work, even though the shift ended an hour ago.
Thorny: I find this suspicious, you know that right?
Bates’ Earthy Granddad: The work wasn’t done, so I finished it.
Thorny: I can’t pay you overtime.
Bates’ Earthy Granddad: Look, I keep seeing you working after the shift, and I don’t mind doing extra for a boss who isn’t lazy like the rest of them. And if your mill closes, I sure as hell won’t get a job with these other guys, so I have a vested interest in keeping you afloat.
Thorny: The kid hasn’t eaten.
Bates’ Earthy Granddad: Well, see, sometimes there’s nothing edible at the butcher, even if you have money. How does it feel to be bitch slapped by the invisible hand, my fine capitalist pal?
Thorny: It’s too bad you can’t like… buy food at scale and then feed everyone.
Bates’ Earthy Granddad: Careful, people will start to think you’re some kind of socialist.
Thorny: It’s just good business sense to keep your workforce well fed; my competitors should see that, even the foolish ones.
Bates’ Earthy Granddad: Well, if you’re serious, we’d just need a cook — there’s an abandoned building at the back of the mill that would be perfect for this.
Thorny: So I guess I didn’t get a himbo employee after all.
Bates’ Earthy Granddad: I guess not.
Thorny: Well bring me a proposal and we’ll see.
Winter comes to Milton, and with it, a letter from Cousin Edith, who wants the remaining Country Squad to come visit London. But why leave when things are finally getting fun up north? You guessed it — Bates’ Earthy Granddad’s cafeteria scheme is a rousing success, and he’s even convinced Thorny to come grab a bite inside. The rest of the workers clam up when Thorny walks in, but at least he’s got his new BFF to chat to.
Thorny: Dude, this stew is dynamite. Is that your daughter who’s cooking?
Bates’ Earthy Granddad: Yep. She’s a good kid, she’s finally coming into her own a bit since her sister died.
Speaking of sisters, Wannabe Caroline Bingley gets married, and everyone shows up to the service.
Country Dad: Congratulations, Ol’ Battleaxe! What a great day for you! It’s nice to see Thorny smiling, I’ve not seen him around much lately. Was he sick?
Ol’ Battleaxe: He never gets sick, he’s just been working.
Country Dad: Oooh, and is that the other fancy young lady in town, Ann, on his army?
Ol’ Battleaxe: Sure is!
She’s delighted, but guess who’s not? Mags, obviously. Back at home, Country Dad tries to cheer her up by saying that he’s finally going to do something fun, which happens to be visiting Uncle Creepy.
Mags: Good, you deserve a holiday!
Country Dad: And so do my students. The only one I worry about is Thorny — I haven’t seen him forever, and while I think the mill is in danger, I’m more concerned about his mental health. That guy’s been working hard his whole life, and I’m afraid he’ll think he’s failed his mom.
Mags: Great news; nothing he could do would disappoint Ol’ Battleaxe; she loves him the most!
That settled, Country Dad heads off for his guys weekend in Oxford. He’s a bit worried about Mags, but she’s just happy he’s going to have some fun. And fun is indeed had, but Country Dad is still concerned: what will happen to Mags when he dies?
Uncle Creepy: Ok, first of all, you’re not going to die for a long time. Second of all, you know I think of her as like a niece or whatever; I have no other family, I’ll take great care of her.
Country Dad: You’re the best, really.
Uncle Creepy: You are! And may I say, you’ve been looking great since you’ve been down here.
Country Dad: I know, right? I feel like I’m home!
See, that was a happy thing he just said, but suddenly the music takes a very dark turn, and I don’t like it! A smiling Mags reads a letter from Country Dad, only to look out the window and see Uncle Creepy, who looks like hell. He’s bringing truly awful news: Country Dad died suddenly in his sleep. Bates’ Earthy Granddad tells Thorny, and then insists he come sit down in the canteen.
Thorny: Wait, crap, so what’s gonna happen to Mags?
Bates’ Earthy Granddad: Well, she’s got no reason to stay here now — it seems like since they moved up here it’s one bad thing after another. Apparently her aunt is coming to take her to London. We’ll miss her.
Thorny, internally:
City Mom does indeed come to get Mags, and she’s as tactless now as she was back in episode one.
City Mom: Ugh, you’ve really been having a bad time. And it’s all your dad’s fault! We’re leaving right now. Dixon, stay and auction everything off.
Mags: Not the books, please. And I have to say goodbye to our friends.
City Mom: Friends? Here? With these peasants? Well, whatever, I’ll help you do that, and then we’re leaving for good.
First stop on the farewell tour? Chez Thorn, where Wannabe Caroline Bingley is mostly upset that she won’t be able to invite Mags over to her newly and expensively decorated home. Can she maybe come visit?
Ol’ Battleaxe: Don’t be daft, kid, Mags isn’t going to come up here just to see your new wallpaper.
Mags: I know it’s been a while since our last conversation, but I have to apologize for the way I spoke to you. You were just trying to help. And Thorny, I brought you my dad’s Plato — figured you’d like it.
Thorny: I love it. I’ll treasure it just as much as I treasured his friendship. You really are leaving? And you won’t be back?
Mags, out loud: Yes, and I hope you’ll be well.
Mags, internally: Not now, romantic feelings!
Mags gets into the carriage to leave, and Thorny stands on the stoop watching her go, because Mags, perhaps unintentionally, nailed that goosebumps walkaway.
Thorny, as sad as we’ve ever seen him, to the wind: Turn back and look at me!
Me, at this show, re: my own emotions:
Suffice it to say, she doesn’t turn back, and Thorny is devastated.
Thankfully, Mags spots Bates’ Earthy Granddad and New Friend’s sister, and stops the cab to say goodbye.
Bates’ Earthy Granddad: Oh I am SO glad we caught you! We were just heading to the station — you didn’t think you’d get out of here without saying goodbye, did you?
Mags: Ugh, of course not, but my snooty aunt was trying to hustle me out of here. I’m really gonna miss you two. Please, take this cash.
Bates’ Earthy Granddad: We’re friends, I am NOT taking your money!
Mags: No, it’s for the kids! Please keep me posted on how they’re doing?
Finally, he acquiesces, because even the proudest among us can’t argue against taking money for an enormous brood of adopted children. And so Mags heads to London, where she’s still, understandably, pretty miserable.
Cousin Edith: Dude, it’s been three months and she’s still in mourning! Mr. Rogaine, you have to help snap her out of it! Your brother and I want you two to get together already! Then again, she’s so good with my baby, and having a built in babysitter is pretty baller. Maybe all four of us can live together in one big house! Regardless, Uncle Creepy is coming today, maybe he’ll cheer her up.
Cousin Edith is right about one thing — Uncle Creepy totally cheers Mags up. His plan: the two of them will go visit her old hometown, which she’s been pining for this whole time! Great call, Uncle Creepy! Like all visits to one’s abandoned childhood home, the trip is bittersweet. The countryside is still gorgeous, but the new vicar and his wife have gotten rid of all the roses, and are, apparently, not into thinking.
New Vicar: Yeah, thinking gets you into trouble! Why question anything?
Mags: You mean like my dad did?
New Vicar: No? Yes? I mean, why not keep things simple!
Mags: So you think educating people is a bad thing?
New Vicar’s Wife: Oh, I see — you think that because you’ve been with those uncouth rabble rousers up North.
Uncle Creepy grabs Mags’ hand in the universal gesture for “cool it, these punks aren’t worth it.” Once they leave, they both have a good chuckle about that conversation. For instance, isn’t it hilarious to think about what Ol’ Battleaxe would say about being called an uncouth rabble rouser?
Mags: I almost lost it on them, I’m sorry about that.
Uncle Creepy: Don’t worry about it, this is my fault. This trip didn’t go as I’d planned.
Mags: See, when we first got to Milton, I was definitely romanticising the south. Now I have to make sure not to do the opposite.
Uncle Creepy: Oh, EW, how dare you make me think of Ol’ Battleaxe and romantic in the same sentence! You wouldn’t say Milton was romantic, would you?
Mags: Look, for some reason I suddenly feel like I have to tell you about this. Before mom died, brother Fred came for a visit, and obviously we had to keep that on the DL. I took him to the train station and Thorny saw us together, and, well, drew some distinctly Folgers Coffee Commercial conclusions.
Uncle Creepy: Aha. Not great.
Mags: Just wait, it gets worse. Someone recognized Fred, and that guy died later. I had to lie to the police about it.
Uncle Creepy: So, what’s the problem? It wasn’t Fred’s fault!
Mags: The problem is I lied! And Thorny knows it!
Uncle Creepy: And Fred is safe now?
Mags: Oh yeah, he’s fine. I mean I might never get to see him again, but that’s not the problem. I just… I really don’t want Thorny to think badly of me.
Uncle Creepy: Are you sure that’s it? Do you want me to talk to him?
Mags: No, please don’t. I wish he knew, but I don’t want to burden him with this. Don’t say anything. I don’t know what I want.
Uncle Creepy: You know, when your dad died I promised to look after you.
Mags: And you totally have been, so well done.
Uncle Creepy, FINALLY living up to his name: Oh, you’re not getting it. I was hoping you’d want to look after me too.
I never thought I’d get married, because I’ve been too busy being in academia. But here’s the deal, I can tell you’re not into it, so I’m not even gonna ask. I think it’s a bummer to leave all your money to someone who’s just going to wait around for you to die, so I’m giving you most of it now.
Mags: What? No way!
Uncle Creepy: Yes way. I’m going to move to South America, knowing that you’re well taken care of.
Mags: But what will you do?
Uncle Creepy: Well, bad news. I’m not just here to see you, I was visiting a doctor. Don’t be upset, I’m going to make the most of the time I have left, but I’m not going to be around that long. Anyway, let’s celebrate: if we leave now we’ll be in London for dinner.
Whew, what a whirlwind! Is it for sure creepy to even think about marrying your friend’s kid? YES. But is Uncle Creepy light years ahead of other people (looking at you, Mr. Rogaine) for recognizing that Mags wasn’t feeling it and immediately backing off? Also yes! Anyway, with Mags taken care of, Uncle Creepy heads to Milton to settle up with Thorny.
Uncle Creepy: Oh, one note — I signed away all of my money to Mags. I don’t have family and Country Dad was my oldest friend. I hope it’s not weird that she’s basically your boss now.
Thorny: Won’t you need money for your trip?
Uncle Creepy: I’ll be fine! And don’t worry about me, I’m happy to know Mags is secure, and to get out of business for good. And don’t worry, she’s not going to try and mess with your mill.
Thorny: She doesn’t even care about me at all, why would she interfere?
Uncle Creepy:
So you have no idea huh? UGH dammit, I have to say something. You’re wrong if you think she doesn’t like you, and I also think you might have misjudged her.
Thorny: I thought you were getting out of business, mine in particular!
Uncle Creepy: Ok, I tried!
Later that night, Ol’ Battleaxe finds Thorny sleeping at his desk, clearly trying his hardest to work himself to death. In contrast, Mags is finally chilling out a bit, and has been staying with her city family. Cousin Edith is still actively trying to set Mags up with Mr. Rogaine, and while he’s clearly gearing up to take another run at romance, Mags is more interested in engaging his legal expertise to try and help brother Fred. I hope Mr. Rogaine didn’t get too excited, because Mags tells everyone that she wants some independence. She’s sick of London society, and having to be answerable to the whims of city family.
Back in Milton, Wannabe Caroline Bingley rushes into her family’s sitting room, doing one of these:
Apparently her husband’s goofy speculative scheme has worked, and she’s thrilled to rub everyone’s nose in the fact that Thorny missed out on the money making venture. Obviously this behavior is completely tactless given that this probably means that the family is financially ruined, but she doesn’t care.
Thorny: Sorry mom, I think we’re going to lose the house.
Ol’ Battleaxe: Oh, you goober, I don’t care about the house, I care about you!
Thorny: At least she’s taken care of, and it’ll just be the two of us.
Speaking of investments, Mr. Rogaine interrupts breakfast to let Mags know she’s made money overnight, because when you’re rich, passive income is a breeze!
Mags: I mean, I’d rather earn money honestly and do something useful with it, but go off I guess.
City Mom: Mags, you’re sounding positively revolutionary. Cool it please, it’s far too early in the day.
Mr. Rogaine: Apparently Uncle Creepy invested in this totally bonkers scheme.
Mags: Oh snap, the one run by Wannabe Caroline Bingley’s husband?
Mr. Rogaine: The very same! Anyway, she’s loaded now, but her brother’s in ROUGH shape. You might have to find a new tenant soon.
Even Mags isn’t sure what to say to THAT, so insead she just starts aggressively buttering her toast.
Back in Milton, Thorny looks around his abandoned factory and has a mild meltdown, featuring, as always, some soft-focus memories of Mags. Before he gets too choked up, he’s distracted by Bates’ Earthy Granddad’s nerd kid.
Thorny: Where’s your dad?
Nerd Kid: He’s off working on something.
Bates’ Earthy Granddad: Hey, you doing ok buddy?
Thorny: No :) Anyway, why are you still here?
Bates’ Earthy Granddad: Just because it’s the last shift doesn’t mean I shouldn’t finish the job, boss.
Thorny: I’m no one’s boss anymore, dude.
Bates’ Earthy Granddad: Don’t be silly. If you’re ever in a position to hire folks again, there’s a whole bunch of us who would gladly work for you. Here’s the list. Anyway, I was asking about Mags, have you heard from her?
Thorny: Nah, she’s in London, and I doubt she’s coming back.
Bates’ Earthy Granddad: TBH I’m surprised she’s not in Spain.
Thorny:
Bates’ Earthy Granddad: Yeah, where her brother lives? Her brother who’s her only living family?
Thorny: Brother? She doesn’t have a brother.
Bates’ Earthy Granddad: Oh, you silly boy: he was here when Country Mom was dying! They kept it on the DL. I only know because my kid was their maid so I found out.
Thorny: But why wouldn’t Country Dad tell me he had a son?
Bates’ Earthy Granddad: There was some legal trouble. The kid was in some real danger.
Thorny: Oh my god it was her brother. It wasn’t a sex hug at all!
Bates’ Earthy Granddad: Welp. I can see that you’re finally putting some things together, so I’ll leave you to have your epiphany in peace. Catch ya later, pal!
Back in London, Mags decides she’s got to go to Milton rather urgently. Since Mr. Rogaine is her advisor, she invites him along as well. Cousin Edith, who clearly ships it so completely that she doesn’t care about the hairlines of her future nieces and nephews, is delighted. Once Mags gets to Milton, she immediately heads over to Thorny’s abandoned mill, which I guess she owns now. Seems like as good a place as any to quietly contemplate the one who got away, but alas, Ol’ Battleaxe is there too, and she’s not happy.
Ol’ Battleaxe: He’s not here, so if you came to gloat, you can look elsewhere. Guess it’s exciting to look over something you own, even if you didn’t do any of the work to earn it.
Mags: You know, one time you told me I didn’t know anything about the man I rejected. And you were right. But if you think for one second that I came here to rub his nose in it, you don’t know anything about me, either.
Ol’ Battleaxe: I don’t know where he went. And I’m not worried about myself, he’s always taken care of me.
Seems like that might be the only olive branch on offer, and Mags decides to take it. She pats Ol’ Battleaxe on the arm, and gets on a train back to London. Unfortunately for her, the train has to stop for a while halfway there for a northbound train to pass, and you’ll never guess who’s on that train. It’s Thorny, who’s apparently decided to take a trip to the south to see what all the fuss was about. Don’t worry, this isn’t a two ships in the night situation. His train stops, and they notice each other immediately.
Thorny: Fancy seeing you here! Where are you headed?
Mags: London — I’ve just left Milton!
Thorny: You’ll never guess where I’ve been.
And then he proceeds to pull a beautiful rose out of his pocket. A beautiful rose that he picked at her childhood home.
Mags:
You were at my old house? I thought they’d gotten rid of all the roses!
Thorny: Well sometimes you have to look hard to see something that’s right in front of you. Like a rose, or whatever. Anyway, why were you in Milton?
Mags: Business! I wanted to talk to you about something. Hang on, let me get my money guy.
Thorny: Just tell me yourself, you got this.
Mags, adorably awkward: Well, here’s the thing. I have money now. And it’s just sitting in the bank with a tiny interest rate. But if I invest it in your mill, I’d get a much better rate of return! And it’d just be business, you’d be helping me out, not the other way around.
Thorny, for once, believes Mags’ actions and not just her words, and reaches out and grabs her hand. And then she grabs his hand back! And kisses it! And then they smooch! Did I have to pause the recapping for a full minute to flail around when this happened? Yes!
Anyway, it’s all very sweet and romantic, and Mr. Rogaine has to sit and watch this happen from the train compartment, which is kind of fun. The conductor, who has no sense of timing, decides that now is the time to get her train rolling again. Thankfully, Mags is sick of waiting around, and SWITCHES TRAINS to go back to Milton with Thorny instead.
People who take forever to realize they’re into each other, but then once they do, go all in immediately? We simply love to see it! And tbh, reader, I’m thrilled to be able to end a recap series without rage-retconning a different ending, which is unfortunately a rare thing in my line of work. And so, North and South comes to a close, but don’t worry: I’ll be back recapping MASTERPIECE’s next series Atlantic Crossing in short order!
Episode 1 Recap: This is Hell
Episode 2 Recap: The World Will Know
Episode 3 Recap: Every Rose Has It's Thorn
