Thousands of premature babies have NICU onesies thanks to one Weymouth mom

Bringing a new life into the world is an intense journey, and for parents of premature babies, that intensity can be overwhelming. The Neonatal Intensive Care Unit, or NICU, is a place of resilience, hope and heartbreak — and it’s something one Weymouth mom understands all too well.

Meghan Block, whose daughter Caroline was born prematurely, spent weeks navigating the challenges of NICU life. But out of that experience came a beautiful mission: Caroline’s Closet , a project dedicated to donating preemie-sized onesies and new clothing to families in need.

Thanks to Caroline’s Closet, thousands of baby outfits have been donated. That’s why we’re celebrating the organization in this week’s edition of the Joy Beat . Meghan joined GBH’s All Things Considered host Arun Rath to share more about the journey from an idea to a celebrated and beloved organization. What follows is a lightly edited transcript.

Arun Rath: Take us back to the very beginning, if you don’t mind, because I know that must have been a gut-wrenching time in the NICU with Caroline. I can’t even quite imagine what it was like.

Meghan Block: Yeah, so my story is a little bit different. And sometimes I have to remind myself that, though I didn’t have a super traumatic experience, the NICU had its own trauma for me — but it wasn’t the story that a lot of people think of when they think of NICU time. It wasn’t hundreds and hundreds of days with a very sick baby. So I like to put that out there right away.

My NICU time was as drama-free as it could possibly be, and I feel very fortunate for that. I did, though, leave that situation with actual PTSD and with a new appreciation for what moms go through and what the NICU staff goes through.

Caroline was born at 34 weeks at South Shore Hospital in Weymouth. I had been on hospital bed rest. For a few weeks prior to her birth, I was very, very ill. And when I look back, I think, “Oh, we really knew we were going to have a NICU baby.” Like, we were pretty sure she was going to come early, we were pretty sure I wouldn’t make it to term. And we had talked with the NICU staff to understand what to expect.

Courtesy of Meghan Block

At 34 weeks, when it was no longer safe for me to be pregnant and it was time for Caroline’s birthday, I knew she was going to the NICU. I wasn’t prepared for really what that would mean, as far as my attachment, as far as how scary it would be, what she would look like and how serious her condition could possibly be.

I always think, “Wow, I was as prepared as I could have been.” But I was not prepared. When she was born, she was whisked away from me before I could even touch her. She was intubated, she had all these tubes and wires. She was tiny, she was precious and she was sick. It was very difficult, although I had excellent care.

Then, seeing her in her little isolette with all of these tubes and wires, I felt, like, out of body. I already had all of these postpartum hormones happening. I was an experienced mom — I had two sons at home — and I felt like I didn’t know what to do with this little creature. I didn’t have that same skin-to-skin experience and what you might call a “natural” motherhood experience of bringing my baby into the world. It was incredibly difficult for me. It was just a lot.

The NICU experience is loud. It is overwhelming. And to see your little baby in a place that’s anywhere other than your arms is really quite jarring.

Rath: In a situation like that, the medical needs are all very well attended to, but that’s a very particular set of emotional challenges and traumas that you’re going through. Are we set up to deal with that — for mothers going through what you were going through?

Block: You know, we could have a whole other episode on maternal mental health! Honestly, my experience at South Shore Hospital was very positive. NICU nurses and doctors are angels on this earth. They choose to do very difficult work — and work that matters a lot to families. I did feel they did their best to care for me, but really it’s all about the baby and making sure that she is OK.

That did kind of switch over, though. I was hospitalized for several days after Caroline’s birth so that I could continue to get better. I had direct access to the NICU. They would wheel me down in my wheelchair; my husband would take me.

A few days after her birth — maybe five to seven days — my husband came back to my room, and he said, “She’s wearing clothes.” And I was like, “What?! Where did she get clothes?!” Because we didn’t have preemie clothes — even though we knew we were going to have a NICU baby, we didn’t think ahead to have preemie clothes sent to us.

He said, “She’s wearing this little outfit that her nurse bought.” And so I said, “Take me down there.” He wheeled me down to the NICU, and it was the first time that I really felt connected to her. I felt like I was looking at my baby instead of this little sick creature. You know, she looked like a baby, and it was incredibly healing for me.

And then I was like, “Wait a second. The nurse bought this?” So I talked with the nurse, and she said, “Oh, yes, I keep this little stock of little clothes, and you can take it home with you when she’s discharged.” They’re always talking about “when” she goes home; they’re really, really good with their messaging there.

And I said, “Well, where do you get them?” And she said, “Oh, we buy them. We buy the clothes.” They have the standard little white onesie shirts that babies are often seen in, but the nurses actually go and find preemie outfits and bring them in and give them to families.

I’ve always used my energy when I’m feeling very stressed, overwhelmed, sad, hurt — or whatever — I’ve always tried to translate that into doing good for other people. I know how it feels to be the mom on the receiving end of this, and I feel like it’s really not the nurse’s responsibility — she’s keeping my baby alive, she shouldn’t also have to buy her clothes.

I thought, “OK, I’m going to do something with this.” I tabled it for a little while while we got through our NICU journey, and about a year later, I founded Caroline’s Closet.

Rath: Pick it up from there. Tell us about how Caroline’s Closet runs now and what it takes to keep it running.

Block: Every year in the fall, which is typically when NICU Awareness Month falls, we do a drive for clothing. We have an Amazon wishlist that we put out to the community, and we say, “Hey, we are running this initiative called Caroline’s Closet, where we bring infant and preemie outfits to local NICUs to be able to dress the tiniest little patients.”

Honestly, I was shocked when I realized how many hundreds and thousands of babies in our state are in the NICU ever year, but my goal is to have a Caroline’s Closet in every single NICU in Massachusetts.

Rath: I’m sure there are plenty, but is there a joyful moment you can share that really solidifies why you do what you do?

Block: That happened really quickly because, I mean, women largely are very apt to share when they are possibly affected by something, so I feel really lucky that our audience and the people we’re serving have been very open with me about how it has affected them.

The nurses are the first — the nurses and the staff in the NICUs love this. It brings them so much joy. And honestly, just seeing them and how excited they are when we launch a Caroline’s Closet in their NICU, that right there would be enough for me.

When we did our drop-off at Boston Medical Center, they had a ribbon-cutting. They had a ribbon across the closet that they had reserved for Caroline’s Closet, and they had our logo painted on it. It was so special. The nurses were just chomping at the bit to get all these little outfits because, truthfully, their job is a hard one. You had mentioned: the NICU is a place of, honestly, miracles and extreme heartache. And so thinking about the people who work there — they’re really enjoying the little outfits, too.

I have heard from moms and from families who have been able to benefit from Caroline’s Closet. Sometimes people will send me a message on Instagram, and they’ll say, “I was a Caroline’s Closet mom! I got my outfit, thank you so much!”

The sentiment really is that it humanizes the babies, and it makes it so that the mom can start the healing process. And, hopefully, she has her miracle and they can walk away healthy and happy. But no matter what, seeing their baby in clothes for the first time is really one of those milestones that I think — unless you’ve been a NICU mom or a medical mom and your baby wasn’t able to just be dressed the day after they’ve been born — you really can’t understand how it feels.

If you’d like to nominate someone or something for the Joy Beat, leave us a voicemail at (617) 300-BEAT [2328].