As they get ready to celebrate their daughter Maeve’s second birthday, Pauline Curtiss and her partner Kim Fonseca hope to make one thing clear: They are both her parents.
“We chose to bring Maeve into this world, and we’re her parents,” Fonseca said.
Fonseca and Curtiss aren’t married, so when Maeve was born they were given a Voluntary Admission of Parentage form. Traditionally, the form has been used to establish paternity, which is then recorded on a child’s birth certificate. Curtiss, who gave birth, signed as the mother. Without another choice, Fonseca attempted to sign the form in the spot designated for a father. A hospital employee told her it was for men only.
“And I said, ‘Well, okay, I’m a man,'" Fonseca said, “And she laughed, too, and said, ‘I’m sorry, I can’t do it.'"
Fonseca said it felt like a clear case of discrimination. Yet, she said the quest to be recognized as Maeve’s parent goes beyond making a point. It’s about having a legal connection.
“If Pauline was ever to pass away or die suddenly, the state wouldn’t acknowledge my parental-ship,” she said.
The family is caught in a legal lag time. Two months before Maeve was born in 2016, the Massachusetts State Supreme Judicial Court ruled that just like an unmarried man and woman, unmarried same-sex couples can both claim parental rights. It’s taken until this year for the paperwork to catch up and for the state to issue an updated, gender-neutral Voluntary Acknowledgement of Parentage. The words "mother" and "father" have been replaced with "parent."
“A lot of this is just about recognizing the diversity of our families and moving our law forward to catch up with the reality of peoples’ lives,” said Polly Crozier, an attorney with the LGBTQ advocacy group GLAD.
She said the new form is now available in hospital nurseries and will offer protection for kids if one parent becomes incapacitated or, as in the case that led to the court decision, a couple breaks up.
“The mother was losing contact with her children after separation because she wasn’t a biological parent and she wasn't an adopted parent,” Crozier said. “It’s heartbreaking. Children, particularly children who are older, really know they no longer have access to a person that they love and has provided care for them.”
Non-biological parents have always had the option of adopting the child, but Fonseca and Curtiss argued the same laws should apply to all couples, regardless of gender.
“You shouldn’t have to spend thousand dollars adopting your own child," Curtiss said. "That’s pretty clear-cut."
They have filled out the new form and expect both their names will be recorded on Maeve’s new birth certificate.
Massachusetts is one of only five states with a gender neutral parentage form. Meanwhile, Crozier is working in other New England states to change the laws so that unmarried same-sex couples can claim parentage when a baby is born.
