Breaking down the teen loneliness epidemic, and how you can help

Public health officials from the Surgeon General on down agree: the United States is facing an epidemic of loneliness. Half of the country's adults report struggling with feelings of loneliness, and for Gen Z, that feeling of isolation is hitting particularly hard. About 73% of 16- to 24-year-olds say they struggle with it, and it's not just because of the pandemic. Loneliness levels, especially for young men, have gone up every year between 1976 and 2019. It doesn't just keep people from doing their best or feeling their best, loneliness can take a serious toll on one's physical health, making it more important than ever to address this epidemic.

GBH's All Things Considered host Arun Rath spoke about loneliness among young people with Dr. Gene Beresin, executive director of the Clay Center for Young and Healthy Minds at Mass General Hospital. His book is “Ways to Help Your Lonely Teen.” What follows is a lightly edited transcript.

Arun Rath: Things are pretty dire for young people and loneliness. Tell us about the factors that have been working into this, beyond social distancing and the pandemic.

Dr. Gene Beresin: It always used to be that the elderly was the population that were the loneliest. But what the Surgeon General and many researchers determined is that loneliness — particularly among Gen Z, aged 12 to 27 — has been increasing steadily. Along, I might say, with depression, anxiety, stress, and sadly, suicidal ideation.

Now, many people have claimed that this is due to the pandemic, but it's been going on for a lot longer. Nobody really knows the exact cause for this, but I think there are a number of factors involved, and not in this order.

Among this population, young people are terribly overscheduled. They're booked 24/7, from school-aged kids through high school and even college. There's pressure to achieve academically, to play sports, to help others. It goes on and on. It's not like when I was growing up when the weekend was boring, and I would get on my bike and ride around and try to find a pick up basketball game. So I think the overscheduling problem, which has been going on for decades, is a major issue. The teenage brain needs time to process experience.

In Finland, which has among the best academic scores in the world, they only have 3.5 hours of academics a day and no homework to speak of. But they do spend their other time with social interactions, with group activities, with athletics and other social-emotionally positive factors. So that's super important.

Now, other people have claimed that social media is the culprit. While it's true that there are many downsides to digital media — such as comparing oneself to others, fear of missing out, high drama or anything — there are many benefits to social media. If we didn't have social media during the lockdown, our young people would have been completely isolated. And for young people who are shy, who are anxious, or who are on the autistic spectrum, it can be very helpful as a step in face to face encounters.

I think another factor among Gen Zs, which is often neglected, is that this is quite an interesting generation because there's more social consciousness and concern than I remember. I grew up in the ’60s, graduated high school in ’67, and there was a lot of parallels to the times back then when we were fighting against the war in Vietnam and there was social unrest — with women's liberation, and with the Civil Rights Movement. And it's comparable now.

Young people are really worried about the world that they're inheriting. They're worried about disparities and marginalization of certain groups — people of color, immigrants, LGBQIA individuals. They're concerned about mass shootings. They're concerned about the war in Ukraine and now in the Middle East. They're worried about climate change. I could go on. Many of them are very desperate and unhappy — and this, I think, fosters loneliness.

And it's not inconsequential. I mentioned that loneliness fosters depression and anxiety, but it also fosters many different forces — such as sleep deprivation, difficulty self-regulating, substance misuse to quell feelings of loneliness. Also, a weakened immune system and increased risks for heart disease, stroke, diabetes and premature death. So we really have to pay attention.

Rath: And with the kind of attention that it needs, I know — speaking as a parent — for a lot of parents right now, it can be hard to know: what are the signs to look for loneliness? What are the things that we should look for as parents in terms of when this might come to the level of needing some kind of intervention? And what does that intervention look like?

Beresin: I've mentioned depression and anxiety. Those are very important things to look for. So if your young person is not communicating, holed up in their room. Signs and symptoms of depression — such as problems with sleep, interests, appetite, concentration, energy. If there's excessive anxiety — if they just seem to be worried all the time about many different things. If they're reaching for comfort foods and gaining weight. If they're misusing substances. And lack of interest in things that they used to be engaged in.

Essentially, parents and caregivers are the experts in their children. If you see a major change in your child, in their thoughts, feelings, actions, behaviors, that's the time to intervene. They need supportive adults and they need the adults to both model healthy connections with each other, but they also need supportive adults to have frequent conversations with them.

You don't really know what's going on with young people unless you start conversations and ask them open-ended questions like, “What are you worried about? What are you concerned about? What's on your mind?” This, I think, should start as toddlers. Engaging in dialogues is super important, and I think encouraging young people to have connections with each other and away from [social] media.

Put the phones down, take a walk in the woods, use creative arts — which I can't stress enough. It brings out what's going on in young people in a very effective way.