I gasped when I heard the news, stunned by a report detailing multiple charges against local activist Monica Cannon-Grant. Founder and CEO of the nonprofit organization Violence in Boston, Cannon-Grant is accused of raiding the collected money and grants donated to her organization for her own use.

The news hit hard for those who’ve come to admire her grit and determination. She galvanized thousands for local justice marches and pivoted to feed hungry desperate people during the pandemic.

Full disclosure: I interviewed Cannon-Grant last year as she became well known in grassroots organizing and local leadership circles. Boston Magazine named her “the best social justice advocate” in Boston, and in 2020 The Boston Globe named her one of the "Bostonians of the Year."

Cannon-Grant and her husband, Clark Grant, face an 18-count indictment spread over 38 pages. The couple is accused of taking money from donors for personal use, fraudulently getting money from the pandemic unemployment assistance program, and adding false information to a loan application at a Chicago-based mortgage lending business.

Allegedly, the misuse of donated funds started in 2017, the year Violence in Boston was established. According to the indictment, the couple had “exclusive control” of the nonprofit’s funds. They used “cash withdrawals, cashed checks, debit purchases, and transfers to personal bank accounts” to buy gas, hotel rooms, groceries, and trips to nail salons. Particularly upsetting is that Cannon-Grant and her husband are charged with spending $6,000 on a vacation with funds specifically donated for a Philadelphia-based Violence Prevention retreat for at-risk kids.

Still, Cannon-Grant is innocent until proven guilty. She has been accused but is not yet convicted of these charges. Her attorney, Rob Goldstein, told The Boston Globe, “We remain fully confident Monica will be vindicated when a complete factual record emerges.”

I wrestled with multiple emotions as I listened to the news reports of her alleged transgressions — waves of nausea roiled my stomach, my eyes welled with tears, and my skin burned hot with anger. I don’t personally know Cannon-Grant. But I do know that her downfall will unfairly and especially taint other Bostonians of color because It will be doubly hard for anybody who comes behind her if anybody else is allowed to follow.

Longtime critics are savoring what they believe is a long-overdue comeuppance for the no-holds-barred Cannon-Grant and a negligent lack of financial oversight for Violence In Boston.

There is no question that African Americans who are publicly prominent bear both the pride of the community and the weight of communal expectations. She wouldn’t be the first to have buckled under the burden of carrying it all. But she left the rest of us holding the bag for having believed.

I feel let down, disappointed, and worse, betrayed.