Do you wonder how the Trump presidency will finally end? The answer may be in his Tweets. If his feed spews any of the following, we may be reaching a tipping point.
· I’m told that Donald Trump Jr. is my son but I barely know the guy.
· As my recently-released tax returns clearly show, I have every right to deduct citizens from Wisconsin and Alabama as dependents.
· Vladimir Putin is not returning my calls.
· I’ve just accepted the resignation of Conan, the best four-legged acting interior secretary any president could have.
· In order to prove my hurricane forecast was accurate, I’ve ordered Louisiana moved 78 miles west.
· I don’t care what the Supreme Court says. According to Judge Jeanine Pirro, I have the right to remove my ankle monitoring bracelet.
· No one thought I could bring the Israelis and Palestinians together, but I have high hopes for my new Mideast envoy, Khloé Kardashian.
· I haven’t heard from my fair weather friend Lindsay Graham since Bill Kristol and George Will showed up at his house for an intervention.
· Did you see how many people were at my last rally? The Biloxi Comfort Suites conference room was packed to the gills!
· I have no plans to fire my attorney Rudy Giuliani — as long as he makes himself available on visiting days.
Comedy writer Ben Alper has written for Jay Leno, David Letterman and is the author of “Thank You for Not Talking: A Laughable Look at Introverts.”
